


'Til Death Do Us Part

by Ryokuryuupride



Series: Lover, Keep Me Safe [1]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Background Son Hak/Yona, Blood and Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Jae-ha POV, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Sexual Tension, so sorry if I get any details wrong, writing about guns while not knowing much about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:55:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryokuryuupride/pseuds/Ryokuryuupride
Summary: In the midst of the apocalypse, Jae-Ha doesn't have much on his mind but survival. Though his priorities, and his heart, are left in shambles by a young man named Kija. As the two survivors search for a place to call home, feelings they thought they'd never have the luxury to experience again bubble to the surface. But will they live long enough to spend their days together?
Relationships: Jae-Ha/Kija (Akatsuki no Yona), Son Hak/Yona
Series: Lover, Keep Me Safe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831471
Comments: 50
Kudos: 56





	1. The House in the Cul-de-sac

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to the zombie AU that no one asked for! This is gonna be a roughly four-chapter ride so strap in, don't get bitten, and I hope you enjoy!

A week ago, if one had asked Jae-Ha how he’d envisioned spending his Friday night, he would have answered simply: Drinking. Glass in one hand, the fingers of a beautiful stranger entwined in the other, and music pounding in his ears as he danced without a care in the world. He’d have spent it barhopping until he woke up in bed with no memory of the taxi ride home. He’d be laughing, he’d be playing pranks on his drunken friends, he’d be having fun.

He certainly would not have pictured smashing in the head of a rotting, disfigured monster with a baseball bat.

But alas, this would have to do.

As it hit the ground with a thud, Jae-Ha leaned forward, smacking and poking the grotesque _thing_ with the end of his bat to make sure it was dead. It was roughly Day Four of the apocalypse and he still hadn’t gotten used to the sight of them yet. He wasn’t sure he ever would.

They were humans, or rather, they used to be. But something had made them into creatures of hunger and bloodlust. Whatever it was made their bodies decay, their skin crumbling under the slightest touch. It made the whites of their eyes turn red and their orifices bleed. If “blood” was even what one could call it anymore; the brown ooze that seeped out of their wounds was more akin to molasses. But satisfied with his kill, Jae-Ha entered the shop in front of him to get what he came for.

Weapons.

Though his aim was true and his bat durable, he knew he wouldn’t be able to defend himself with it forever. He needed something more useful, more deadly, that he could use to take these monsters out with one hit.

Making sure the front was empty, Jae-Ha made his way to the far wall of the gun shop. He grabbed a few ammo pouches and took his time choosing guns, settling on a hand pistol and a shotgun, as he was a bit more knowledgeable on how they worked. He knew others would likely be more effective but they were useless if he couldn’t handle them correctly. Finally, he took a holster and a shotgun sling.

“Thank you, zombie movies, for teaching me your ways.”

He supposed, for the first time, that he really could just call these creatures “zombies”. They were close enough to undead and they sustained themselves on flesh. Though he couldn’t tell if the name felt appropriate for the situation. It was such a kiddish term, it almost made this whole end-of-the-world thing feel comical.

Oh well. These zombies could suck his—

Something clattered in the room to his right, probably an office or breakroom. There was the sound of fists banging on the metal of the door, the frame rattling under their weight. Jae-Ha hesitated; he burned to try out these new toys but he was still in a more populated section of the city. He knew if he took a shot here, the noise would attract a whole lot more attention than he was currently dealing with. He slung the shotgun over his back and grabbed his bat, readying himself. There was a pause, anticipation seeping its way into his veins, awaiting the moment they would burst as the pounding on the door grew harsher. Jae-Ha pivoted his heel and took a final breath just as the door flew open.

The zombie lurched at him, drooling and grunting, and he swung with all his force straight at its head. There was a _crack_ as the bones in its neck twisted and broke. Its head seemed stuck on sideways, like a revolting doll that had been assembled wrong in a factory, and Jae-Ha almost laughed. But then it reached its mangled fingers out toward him and he had no time to take another full swing. It grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him into the wall. Jae-Ha strained to hold it back, keeping it at arm’s length as it bit at the air, still sideways and seemingly unaware its mouth wasn’t aimed at his face.

Jae-Ha took note that this was a male zombie, and did the only thing he could think of. He heaved his leg up and connected his knee with the thing’s balls.

It backed off momentarily, whimpering and growling like a rabid dog, and he kicked again with the bottom of his foot pushing against its chest. As it stumbled to the ground Jae-Ha glanced around the shop again, running behind the counter, and his fingers gained purchase when they found a hilt. The zombie staggered at him again, about to pounce like a wild cat, but Jae-Ha was ready. It threw itself on top of the counter and Jae-Ha stepped to the side, back out on the open floor. Lifting itself slowly, the zombie tried to reorient itself to face him, but it was too late and Jae-Ha used its confusion to slice its throat with a serrated hunting blade.

Its head rolled to the floor, blood splattering across the tiles, and there was no need to check this time if the zombie was truly dead.

Needless to say, Jae-Ha kept the knife.

With his new trinkets in tow, Jae-Ha set off once more. The line between packing light and keeping enough supplies on him to survive was one he was still learning to tread. Like a child riding a bike without training wheels for the first time, he wasn’t sure just yet if his decisions would lead to salvation or doom. He had the pistol and knife on his hip, the shotgun on his back, and the bat in his hand, at the ready. Though he’d run out of granola the previous night and had no food left on him. Supermarkets had been ransacked for miles around, and Jae-Ha was sure that the only reason the gun shop wasn’t empty as well was because of the sheer population on that side of town. It was in the deepest part of the city, the dead lurking around every corner. Citizens had run _from_ that area in hopes of survival, for where there were people, there were zombies.

Jae-Ha had waited a few days to make the trek there, so it would clear out as much as possible. It still damn near killed him. There were a few moments where he’d sworn he’d been bitten on the way, only convinced he was safe after thorough checks of his body. But now that he was considerably more well-protected, his next mission was to locate more food and water. So he left the city as quickly as time allowed his legs to carry him.

Hours passed as he walked his way to the suburbs. It was the wealthy area of town, perfect for nuclear families to spend their days behind white picket fences in their little cul-de-sacs. Though even that privilege had been shattered, and as Jae-Ha approached he saw the neighborhood had become a ghost town. Garbage lined the sidewalks, any cars left lay dead with their windows broken, every house dark and abandoned. From the other end of the block, he saw a zombie digging through a trash can on the curb. Jae-Ha was never one to chicken out of a fight, but even he knew that if a zombie hadn’t noticed your presence, your best bet was to leave it be.

He toured the houses, trying to make out which one would be his best bet for finding a meal and fresh water. Most people had fled in their cars, and with the option of trunks came food storage. His best bet would be a house with its car still there, meaning its occupants had likely left empty-handed or been elsewhere when the outbreak occurred. He also tried to look for any sign that the houses had harbored children: toys in the yard, decorations on the windows, baby seats in the family vehicle. A house with more people meant a house with more groceries.

Finally, he found one that seemed the perfect fit. The house was two stories above ground, probably with a basement as well, and stood wide with its curtains open to show off its numerous rooms to the world. A van that looked brand-spanking new stood in the driveway, the only zombie-damage being a broken side mirror. Whoever lived here was well-off, had a big family, and had left in a hurry without their car.

Jae-Ha checked out the front door to see if there were any extra security systems intact, finding a camera but nothing seemed to be on. He took a look at his surroundings to make sure he wouldn’t be snuck up on, pulled one of his trusty bobby pins out from his ponytail, and got to work toying with the lock. It took a few minutes—he’d prefer to have his actual lockpick but it was long gone by now—but he heard the tell-tale _click_ and got the door open.

The house appeared even bigger from the inside. Every wall was pristine and white like the whole place was meant to be sterile. A smooth hardwood flooring lay solid beneath his feet, uttering not a single creak as he stepped across it, and a large, curved staircase snaked its way up to the second floor.

Jae-Ha slowly stepped in further to give the place a thorough zombie-check, and his mind flashed to all those years he’d spent in shabby, one-bedroom apartments. Those months he’d been on the street with Garou, unable to afford food. It was as if this house was laughing at him. With its step-down living room and electric fireplace, its furnishings and flatscreen, it screamed at him. _"This is what it’s like to be rich, son,”_ the thought echoed. _“This is a life not fit for a poor bastard like you.”_

As spiteful as Jae-Ha was, he made his rounds and was content that there were no zombies in the house. The kitchen was a behemoth in its own right, but Jae-Ha set his bat down and went straight to the fridge…

And in the shelter of its walls, he found a feast.

Containers of fruit lined the shelves, pudding and a bread tin sat on the topmost rack, and while the fridge was off and he could smell the milk and cheese going sour, the items that didn’t need to be kept cold were all fair game.

He took the bread tin first, the lovely scent of banana and chocolate overpowering all else around him. Having been surrounded by blood and carnage for days on end, it was as comforting as being wrapped in a blanket. He quickly looked it over for mold and dug in. The sweet taste bloomed on his tongue, oh how _good_ it felt to eat real food, and Jae-Ha let himself forget for a moment where he was and how the world had turned to rubble around him.

There was a half-full tub of strawberries, too, that he ripped from the fridge without hesitation. A quick look inside and he found that a few had grown a bit of mold but that most of them were fine. He bit into a large one, its rich juices composing a song in his mouth. Jae-Ha wasn’t sure he’d ever known relief like this. If he could bathe in an emotion and keep its aroma on him for the rest of his days, he’d want it to be this one.

He was on his third strawberry when something behind him creaked. Distantly his mind registered the sound but it came as if from another planet, from a corner of the universe with a different map of the stars. His conscious mind paid no heed until he heard breathing. Jae-Ha could physically feel eyes on his back and the hair on his neck stood up. Like a lightning bolt rushing down his body he knew he’d just made a fatal mistake, and he turned to see nothing but the wood of his own bat as it struck him.

Then as if the sun itself had been snuffed out, there was nothing but darkness.

* * *

The void of Jae-Ha’s dreams caught him in its grisly hands. He couldn’t move, couldn’t hear. Like his head was underwater, it carried him across the current, searching for nightmares to linger in. It bounced between one, and another, and another, deciding upon how best to torture him. Finally, it settled on a memory, one from only days prior. The beginning of the end.

The first sign of danger had come at the jarring blare of tornado sirens, though the day was as sunny and clear as could be. Jae-Ha ran to the window of his apartment building and saw people blindly sprinting in every direction, as though running for their lives. He’d soon learn that they were.

The second sign had been when his phone buzzed:

EMERGENCY ALERT

VIRAL OUTBREAK IN CAPITAL KUUTO. INFECTED ARE DANGEROUS AND CANNIBALISTIC. DO NOT ENGAGE. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

The third and far-from-final-sign arrived the second after he’d finished reading the alert when there came frantic knocking at his door. Jae-Ha looked through the peep-hole and saw his neighbor, and when she cried out his name, foolishly opened the door for her.

Upon her entrance, Jae-Ha was immediately overloaded by the sight and smell of blood; she was covered in it, a wound in her shoulder still open. She rushed in and slammed the door behind her, locking it every way she could. Jae-Ha had known her for months, ever since he’d moved into the complex. He’d grilled at cookouts with her and her husband, he’d babysat her kids. The sight of her made his blood curdle in his veins.

An instinct, a primal voice in his head, told him that he should be running. She turned to him then, weeping and cowering in fear, until her eyes glossed over and her face turned colors that no human’s skin ever should. The crying stopped. She smiled at him.

He ran.

Jae-Ha remembered that he’d jumped from a window down to the fire escape, but the dream shifted around him and instead dropped him onto concrete. There was no pain, just a dull ache, but Jae-Ha looked up and he was surrounded. Deathly faces circled him, bleeding and howling, reaching toward him. He willed his legs to run but his every movement was in slow-motion. But before the wall of hands could reach him, the ground beneath him crumbled to dust, and again he was falling, falling, and falling. It was dark, there was nothing anywhere. He couldn’t even see himself but somehow he felt the ground getting closer. It was just below him now. He braced right as the landing came.

And Jae-Ha woke up.

He was gasping for air, his clothes pressed against his skin from sweat, and the side of his head was pounding. Attempting to gather his senses, he tried standing but quickly realized that he was tied up. To a chair. How lovely.

_Wait, but who_ _—_

“Don’t you dare try to move!”

A voice, a regular, _human_ voice reached his ears. He looked up to once again be face-to-face with his bat, as well as the young man holding it.

“Ah. My apologies, but that’s mine you’ve got there,” Jae-Ha said.

The man simply tightened his grip on the bat in response. Seemed that wouldn’t work.

“I feel as though the first thing we should be doing is introducing ourselves, rather than go all willy-nilly with hitting each other. My name’s Jae-Ha, and you are?”

“You’re the one who waltzed into _my_ house with weapons.”

“Point taken,” Jae-Ha conceded. “But I’m sure we can come to an agreement if you would just put that down and untie me, darling.”

“ _Darling?_ ” the man stammered a moment before pointing the bat straight at Jae-Ha. “Look, just answer my questions and maybe I’ll let you leave. Why did you break into my house?”

“It was nothing personal, dear, just looking for food,” he said.

The man seemed to loosen his grasp on the bat just a bit. Jae-Ha found himself staring. He was young, couldn’t have been older than twenty, yet his hair was white and shone like icecaps in the cold Arctic sun. And he was pale, so very pale—as if he’d not stepped outside in years. Though his complexion still was perfect and his face glowing.

“Perhaps if you would stop with the nicknames, I could untie you,” the white-haired man said. “But you’re still not going anywhere until you tell me some things.”

For the first time since he awoke, Jae-Ha took in his surroundings. They appeared to be in an attic. A cylinder of sunlight pointed toward the floor from a circular window, and wooden beams hung overhead.

“You say that to a man with guns,” he said.

“I hid your guns, you won’t find them until I decide you can leave.”

Jae-Ha took a glance over the other’s shoulder. “They’re behind that box over there, aren’t they?”

The man let out a sort of shocked squeak, which was, admittedly, oddly _cute_. Jae-Ha felt as though he were being held hostage by a puppy, one who couldn’t bare its fangs to save its life.

“I—No! They’re um, that…” the man looked torn between hitting Jae-Ha and hitting himself with the bat. “That’s not important! What’s important is that you’re going to tell me everything you know about those creatures outside.”

“That’s it? You could’ve just asked me nicely,” said Jae-Ha. He felt himself grow irritated, but he understood the caution. Sometimes other survivors would rather kill you and take your supplies than make a friendly alliance. “Listen, I really have no interest in hurting you. If I had known there was still someone in this house, I wouldn’t have come in. I just really needed food. So why don’t you untie me, and I’ll tell you whatever you want, Mr…?”

“Kija.”

“Kija, I’ll tell you what you need to know, and in exchange, you can let me have some more of that splendid banana bread you’ve got downstairs. Deal?”

No answer came right away. Kija was eyeing him, contemplating if he was being honest or not. After a long silence, he sighed, seeing no malice in Jae-Ha’s expression, and moved to untie him.

“Deal.”

Jae-Ha stood and shook out his hands and feet. In the silence, he also took the opportunity to twist and crack his back in both directions, and he saw Kija wince from the sound.

“Alright, what do you need to know, Kija dear?”

“Would you stop addressing me like that?” Kija ran a hand through his hair. “Just, tell me what you know about these... _things_ spreading around.”

Jae-Ha raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t seen any for yourself?”

Kija seemed to retreat into himself a bit, his eyes cast downward and his hands fidgeting. He looked ashamed. And guilty. Jae-Ha realized then that he’d probably lost someone, just as he had. Just as everyone had.

“I’ve been hiding out since it started. I heard the sirens and got the emergency messages, and I holed up in here. I’ve been too afraid to go outside.” Jae-Ha wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but as Kija spoke, it looked a bit like he was swaying on his feet. “You’ve been out there, you’ve obviously been defending yourself. So tell me, what are they?”

Oh, Jae-Ha wished he hadn’t heard the other’s voice crack at the end of his sentence. His exasperation was rapidly giving way to sympathy for the poor kid, for he hadn’t spoken to anyone in days and his heartache at the loss of his own normal life was getting to him. 

“Well,” he started. “I’ve been thinking of them as zombies, to be honest with you. They were humans who got infected by something, and now they attack and eat people. And if their bite doesn’t kill you, you turn into one.”

He saw Kija’s eyes go wide. His hands started to shake and he took a step away from Jae-Ha.

“No, that, that can’t be right,” said Kija. He was definitely swaying now, as if his legs had turned to gelatin and could no longer support him. Suddenly his knees buckled and he fell forward, Jae-Ha catching him before his delicate skin met hard wood.

He eased him to the floor. “Woah! Take it easy, you alright?”

Kija shifted in his arms, attempting and failing to sit upright. He gripped the front of Jae-Ha’s shirt for purchase, and Jae-Ha felt himself grow weak with pity.

“I’m sorry, I’m alright. It’s just,” his voice faltered. He put a hand to his temple and squeezed his eyes shut. “I haven’t eaten since this all started. I’ve gotten myself to the bathroom just below here where I could drink tap water but the running water shut off yesterday. I haven’t been downstairs for anything else.”

“Yet you came down to knock me out with my own bat.”

_“You broke into my house,”_ Kija breathed. It was obvious now that his previous threatening of Jae-Ha was not without effort. “You were a human, I didn’t know if anything _else_ was down there before, so I didn’t try.”

“So, what, you haven’t had food in four days?” asked Jae-Ha. He groaned. This was not the situation he’d been hoping for. All he’d wanted was something to eat, maybe a couch to crash on. But no, now he was looking out for someone else and he knew how badly that could go. If he tried to protect Kija, and if Kija couldn’t defend himself on his own… 

He’d be a liability.

But Jae-Ha had always valued his inclination to help those who could not help themselves. There was an itch in his brain, one that wouldn’t be scratched until he’d gotten this pitiful kid back on his own two feet, at the very least. Even besides that, he couldn’t help but feel soothed at the notion of talking to someone.

_Ah, I’m going to regret this._

He gently set Kija down and stood to grab his pistol and knife, which were indeed, just on the other end of the room. Kija really didn’t know how to hide things well, did he? Making sure the pistol was loaded, Jae-Ha kneeled down to lower the attic ladder.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

Jae-Ha hopped down the ladder with a wink. “Stay put, Kija dear. I’ll be right back.” He hoped leaving his shotgun behind would be enough to let the other know he really would be back up in a moment. But for now, he turned his attention to the house.

It was a slow trek back to the kitchen, once again making sure no undead people-leeches were lurking in the hallways or behind open doors. Jae-Ha stopped just before he got to the living room and saw one on the other side of a window. He waited until it bumbled around out of sight and made a mad dash for the kitchen.

He was back to the attic in five minutes, Kija still sitting on the floor. He brandished the remainder of the bread, pudding, and all the fresh produce he could find.

“Shall we dig in?”

Kija was stubborn, and he huffed at Jae-Ha, but otherwise gratefully took the food. They sat together, eating in silence for a long while before Kija spoke again.

“You’re not afraid of them?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Jae-Ha took a mouthful of pudding. “I’ve been around them so I know how to deal with them when the need arises.”

“How do you stay, you know…” Kija trailed off. “Human?”

Jae-Ha leaned back on his hands and hummed. “It spreads from bites and cross-contamination with an infected’s bodily fluids. It’s safe to say this disease isn’t airborne, otherwise, we would’ve turned just from breathing near the infected. Though that doesn’t rule out the possibility of it also being waterborne. So be cautious around water sources and other species.”

“Other species?” Kija asked slowly.

“Yeah, if it can spread through water, or even if a human bites their pet, then we can expect to see some animals get infected, too. Zombie dogs, cats, deer, bugs—”

“Bugs?”

“ _Zombie_ bugs.”

_“ZOMBIE BUGS?!”_ Kija shot up from his seat on the floor, toppling over many of the food containers in the process. Jae-Ha reached out to save the open tub of blueberries and looked up at him, now shivering in the corner of the room.

Oh, this was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter! To be honest I was debating posting this. With the current state of the world, I figured people didn't need to worry about a fictional virus. But some folks over on twitter were very encouraging and excited about it, so I decided to share it now! I want to try to keep a fairly regular update-schedule with this one, so I'm gonna go with one chapter every week. Meaning the next one should hit on Monday the 25th. Stay tuned, and I hope you liked this one!


	2. Leaving the Nest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers, thank you for coming back for another chapter!! This one's a little longer than chapter one. I hope you enjoy :)

As the morning sun streamed into the house, Jae-Ha and Kija made it their mission to block it out. They went room by room, crouching beneath the windows until the area outside was clear, and Kija closed every curtain and set of blinds while Jae-Ha stood watch. With the sheer size of the place and the caution the task required, it took them almost an hour. But soon enough every window was covered and the interior of the house was invisible to the outside, which meant they could roam freely within it.

It was a relief to say the very least, to have a safe space within those walls. Not to mention that Jae-Ha’s loneliness was lifting. Kija was a talker, and while long-held conversations were awkward, Jae-Ha could be brushing out his hair or cleaning his weapons to hear Kija talking to himself on the other side of the room. It was an odd comfort. But it made him feel a little less like he was losing his mind when he saw Kija muttering under his breath and tripping over his own feet. Though the night was a different story. 

They’d made a sort of blanket fort in the attic, complete with sleeping bags and an excess of pillows. If the house was to be breached during the night, they’d still be safe. Jae-Ha was just drifting out into the waters of sleep when a quiet shifting drew him away from its depths. As he opened his eyes, he could feel more than see Kija trembling beside him. He was facing away from Jae-Ha, his face blocked from view, and Jae-Ha couldn’t tell what was happening until Kija took in a sharp breath and hushed sobs rocked his body.

Grief was a natural instinct, one that Jae-Ha had been ignoring over the past five days. It was a sentiment that he didn’t have the leisure to process if he wanted to live. Nevertheless, he rested a hand on Kija’s back. He’d seen the photos adorning the walls, he knew that Kija had a family. So while trying not to think of his own loved ones, he kept his hand there until he felt the other go lax and the abyss of sleep called on him once more.

Jae-Ha thought he’d gotten Kija figured out by then: a pampered young chatterbox whose heart would surely break under the mourning that walked hand in hand with armageddon. Though his every impression of the white-haired man would soon prove to be wrong.

“Jae-Ha,” he said the next morning. “May I ask you something?”

Jae-Ha was on his knees digging through the pantry and freezer for anything salvageable. “Yeah, shoot.”

“Would you be willing to teach me how to use this?” Jae-Ha turned his head and his stomach dropped when his eyes landed on Kija holding his pistol.

“...Kija, dear, I know I just said ‘shoot’ but please, don’t shoot.”

Kija simply rolled his eyes and set the pistol on the counter. “You know I wouldn’t do that.”

“I don’t know, you did knock my lights out the other day,” said Jae-Ha. Kija scoffed at him. He found that he was beginning to really enjoy the other’s reactions to his teasing.

“And you know I had a reason for that! Just, _please_.” Without warning, Kija knelt down to take one of Jae-Ha’s hands and met his eyes. “Teach me how to fight.”

A warm tingle lit up his chest. The move was so unexpected that Jae-Ha found himself struggling a bit to get his next words out. Finally, he settled on a weak, “Okay” before Kija smiled and let his hand go. Left alone on the kitchen floor, Jae-Ha began to seriously rethink his choices.

They went into the garage where Jae-Ha found an old dartboard and set it up on the wall as a target. He unloaded the pistol before showing Kija the safety and how to reload, and finally let him aim the empty gun at the board.

“Are you sure we can’t shoot in here? I might not learn anything.”

“Trust me, dear, there are a lot of downsides to using guns. We want to have them on hand, but we want to fire them as little as possible.” He took note of Kija’s stance, his grip on the handle. Already Jae-Ha could tell he was going to need more direction.

“Downsides? Like what?” Kija asked.

“Well, first off, they’re loud. Loud enough to attract attention from our hungry friends, and they’ll harm your ears with excessive use.”

Kija lowered the pistol and gave him a confused look. “Then why bother using them?”

“For emergencies, dear. In case you’re surrounded with no way out, you can make an opening for yourself.” Jae-Ha nodded back toward the target to get Kija to aim again, stepping in behind him to correct his stance. “You want your feet to be wider apart. And don’t lock out your arms completely, bend them just a little bit.”

As Kija followed his directions, Jae-Ha moved on to his hands, taking his left hand and moving it.

“Keep your wrist turned this way. You don’t want gaps between your hands or even your fingers. Cover as much of the grip as possible.”

Kija didn’t ask questions, only watched as he guided his hands over the gun. Jae-Ha couldn’t help but notice how soft his skin was. Delicate, as if he’d been wrapped in velvet. He felt his heart twitch then, a thought plaguing him, that in a perfect world Kija shouldn’t have to be learning this. Shouldn’t have to get his tender hands soaked in blood.

“Alright, you can try pulling the trigger now,” Jae-Ha said as he backed off to give Kija space. “You won’t know exactly where you’d be hitting but you can at least get a feel for how sensitive the control is.”

He watched as Kija took in a breath to steel himself before pulling the trigger. A _click_ was exhaled from the gun, and another as Kija tested it out more. Learning just how hard you could press before the gun fired was a fragile process, Jae-Ha knew, like understanding how much force to put on the accelerator when learning to drive. Kija put his hands down and stepped out of his stance, then got himself right back into it, committing the position to memory. He pulled the trigger a few more times before relaxing and turning back to Jae-Ha.

“Alright, I think I’ve got it. Is there anything else you can teach me?”

“Hmm,” Jae-Ha hummed. “Not right away. I showed you how to not hurt yourself, but a lot of shooting comes down to personal preference, as well. You can practice with that as much as you’d like.” 

“I see. Thank you, Jae-Ha.” Kija smiled at him, and Jae-Ha felt that little tingle in his chest again. He was just about to attempt a sly comment when Kija continued: “What about the bigger one?”

“The shotgun?”

Kija nodded.

Jae-Ha clicked his tongue. “Yeah, no, I’m not handing that to you. It’s a bit too dangerous, dear.”

But Kija rose to the challenge. “I’m not some dainty maiden. How come you know how to use it, then?”

“Long story. Let’s just say my father-figure for many years was a very paranoid individual.” Indeed, if he could assign any description to the man, it would be paranoid. For Garou was the type to shoot every bunny that dared scamper across his lawn. He’d forced Jae-Ha to learn these things, and he’d hated him for it, but he begrudgingly supposed it was coming in handy now.

Still, he didn’t want Kija to stain his hands any more than he needed to.

He watched Kija’s back as he stepped into the house, grabbing a water bottle from a multipack before following in after him. 

“By the way, your car outside,” he said once they were back in the kitchen. “Does it still run well?”

“It should, we just bought it a few weeks ago and the tank is full. Why?”

“You should have it prepared. Stock up water and non-perishable food in there, maybe some pillows or blankets.” Jae-Ha opened his water bottle and took a generous drink. When he looked back, Kija still hadn’t responded and was looking at him like he’d suggested stepping outside to get eaten. “What?”

“Why would I leave? What am I preparing for?”

Jae-Ha sighed. “You know you can’t stay in this house forever, right? Eventually you’ll run out of supplies, and even if you keep living here, you’ll have to go out and scavenge. If you need to get anywhere far in the next month or so, you’ll need rations in there.”

It looked like the first time that fact had crossed Kija’s mind. Jae-Ha watched his expression as it morphed from shock, to fear, then settled on admission and resolve.

“Okay,” Kija finally said. “How do we get it in the garage?”

They sat down at the kitchen table to get to work. Kija brought out a paper and pencil and drew the layout of the house, marking the windows at Jae-Ha’s request. Soon they had a map of the front and each window’s relation to the garage.

“How loud is the garage door?”

“It’s actually fairly quiet,” said Kija. “We had the rollers replaced a few months ago, so the loudest part is when it hits the ground after closing.”

“Okay, so we need to open the door, get the van inside, and close it again. We’ll be defeating the purpose of all this if either of us is seen.” Jae-Ha took the pencil and drew several distorted stick figures around the perimeter of the house. “One of us distracts any zombies nearby from the second-floor windows while the other gets the van. Since it’s out in the open, getting the van will be more dangerous, so I’ll—”

“I’ll get it.”

Jae-Ha choked on his sentence. “I, what?”

“It’s my family car so I’ll be more familiar with it than you, which means I can start it up and get it moving more quickly.” Kija met his eyes and determination filled every line of his face, the scared boy Jae-Ha had met in the attic nowhere to be seen. “We won’t have much time to pull this off, and the extra second you might take fumbling with the keys could betray us.”

Every moment, in every lull of Jae-Ha’s thoughts, Kija was finding ways to surprise him. He’d always been good at reading people, knowing their next moves even before they did like an experienced chess player. But Kija was a piece that did not move according to the rules of the game. He made risky, unpredictable decisions, flying across the board in the name of victory. And when a pawn moved like a queen with no consideration for the order of things, even a master could not predict what it would do next.

He relented under the conviction in Kija’s expression. “Alright. Do you have anything we can communicate with?”

“Oh, sure!” Kija jumped up from the table and left the room, returning a few moments later with two cell phones. “They’re almost dead by now, but these should work.”

And Jae-Ha was flabbergasted. Rich people...

Roughly an hour later, Jae-Ha was standing in a bedroom on the second floor, a box of thread spools under his arm. Kija had gotten them from his grandmother’s stash of sewing supplies, saying there was no better use for them anymore. Jae-Ha swallowed. This was going to be tricky.

He pulled the curtain back ever so slowly and cautiously opened the window. Below him was a view of the garage, the van, and a zombie right in the driveway. Another stood on the opposite side of the garage. Jae-Ha took a spool from the box and aimed, weighing the landing, and threw it. It bounced off the pavement and rolled off to the side of the house. The zombie in the driveway stumbled away toward it, engrossed by the colorful thing. Now for round two.

He threw another spool past the second one. It took no notice of the object itself but turned at the sound of it hitting the ground, almost looking directly up at the window. Jae-Ha ducked his head and waited. Once a few seconds had passed, he tried again, this time successful, and the zombie clambered out of view.

With the area open, Jae-Ha lifted the cell phone and whispered into the microphone. “Okay, you’re clear.”

In the next second he saw the garage door open, near-soundless, and for the thousandth time since he got there he was dumbfounded by wealthy folks and their houses. He watched Kija dash out and unlock the car, and as he opened the door there was movement in the corner of Jae-Ha’s vision. The first zombie was coming back out.

Jae-Ha reached for the thread spools and chucked one out as fast as he could. It hit the zombie in the leg and rolled away, and the bewildered creature followed with a series of frustrated grunts. Kija must have been paying attention because as soon as the zombie had disappeared behind the corner of the house again, the car pulled forward. The garage door began its descent and as soon as it shut, both zombies had come back around the front.

But they were safe.

Once the car was secured inside, they set about stocking. Canned vegetables and boxes of crackers, the water bottle pack, and a blanket and pillow tucked in the backseat. Once they were done, Kija shut the trunk and turned to him.

“Jae-Ha?”

“Yep?”

“I was just wondering, you’ve been here for a few days now, and when you got here you said you’d just have some food and leave. Why are you still hanging around here?”

That tingle in Jae-Ha’s chest poked at him again. He put on a grin. “What, are you tired of me already?”

“No, it’s not that I don’t want you here,” said Kija. “I just don’t understand why you’ve stayed so long.”

Why had he stayed? What an odd question. The answer seemed obvious, so much so that a child could understand. It was simple why Jae-Ha had stayed, really.

So why couldn’t he think of an answer?

The question irked him as he headed back upstairs, the hallway distracting him with faces he’d never met, preserved in frames across the wall. To his left was a bedroom, one he hadn’t bothered to look in since he and Kija closed off all the windows. He wasn’t sure what or why, but some unseen force dared him to step inside.

 _Why did I stay?_ The thought replayed as he walked in, his mind a broken record searching for the next song. When he found a frame on the bedside table— _W_ _hy am I helping Kija?_ As his eyes studied the picture— _Why do I care?_

And suddenly the answer was not so simple, not so clear as he’d thought it to be. The people in this photo were happy: a mother and father, a grandmother, an uncle or two, perhaps. And there in the center was a child. So young, so fragile, yet unmistakably Kija. The same Kija who’d risked his life in front of Jae-Ha just an hour ago, the same Kija who’s asked him how to use a gun. Why had Jae-Ha stayed? He wasn’t even sure.

Perhaps he simply enjoyed the company.

His pulse went cold as the idea shook his brain. Though even colder still as his ears picked up on a sound disconnected from his bitter heartbeat. Glass shattering, something heavy falling to the floor.

Something had broken a window.

He was armed with nothing but his pistol. He didn’t know where Kija was. Panic gripped him as he ran toward the sound, fingers on the trigger. Jae-Ha couldn’t tell if it came from upstairs or downstairs, and as he ran to find out, a hand grabbed his shoulder from behind. He spun around on his heel, his arm winding back to strike the assailant in the face with the blunt grip of the gun—

Freezing when he saw Kija.

“It’s me,” Kija whispered. “What was that noise?”

“A window,” said Jae-Ha. His breath came out in harsh streams, waves crashing against the sand to turn to foam in his lungs and fade back out. Though much of the fear subsided with the knowledge that Kija was safe and he drank in the sight. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Kija smiled and opened his mouth but whatever words he was readying turned to ash. His stare slipped behind Jae-Ha and his face filled with alarm, and before Jae-Ha could register it he was being shoved to the side.

“Jae-Ha!”

A splitting _snap_ filled the air as Kija’s fist connected with the face of a zombie. Jae-Ha was on the ground now, his pistol a few feet off. Kija had pushed him out of the way.

The zombie was snarling, its nose hanging by a thread and leaking blood like a broken pipe. It screamed and leaped forward while Kija tried to punch it again. The hit landed on its cheek and a shower of blood spewed out of its mouth, but it seemed to care very little and seized Kija’s hair and shoulder in its vile hands, yanking his head to one side and leaning in to bite.

People said that terror could make a person move without meaning to, their legs carrying them along before they realized they were running. At that moment it gripped Jae-Ha in a vice and made him reach for his gun, aim, and without a single thought in his mind other than Kija, pull the trigger.

The shot hit its bullseye, sinking into the zombie’s head and staining the wall behind it. It collapsed to the floor with one last dying grunt as Kija stumbled backward.

Jae-Ha stood to hold him steady. “Are you alright?”

Kija nodded, holding his head where his hair had been pulled. After a moment he turned to look at Jae-Ha, his eyes wide. “The noise from the shot.”

And the realization hit Jae-Ha too, for as soon as Kija had ended his sentence, more windows broke downstairs.

“Go to the attic and get the shotgun, I’ll clear an opening for us,” said Jae-Ha.

“To where?”

“The car. This house isn’t safe anymore.”

Giving one last nod, Kija ran off to the attic ladder. Jae-Ha took a deep breath to steel himself and peeked down the stairs. There were already four zombies in the kitchen, the sound of a fifth from the living room. He saw his bat on the table, too. Before any of them could get a whiff of him on the stairs, he took a shot at the closest one. It went down with a _thud_ , and the first of the other three in the kitchen dashed up toward him. Jae-Ha placed a hand on the railing and landed a kick square in its chest, sending it hurtling back down the stairs. He climbed down to the floor and finished it off with another shot. The other two were shrieking at him now, getting ready to lunge forward.

Jae-Ha stepped sideways toward the table while shooting at the nearest one, one hit landing in its shoulder before a second went through its skull. The other one was close by then and Jae-Ha landed a few hits in the chest before it pushed him down onto the table. Gravity left its drool to hang over Jae-Ha’s face, the scratching, horrible sounds from its throat piercing his ears. He held it back with one hand while the other reached for the bat. His fingers found it and he brought it up to smash into the zombie’s head. It fumbled off of him and he hit it again, the force this time ripping through bone and leaving it with its brain matter spilled across the floor. His pistol was on the ground again and he heard the fifth monster from the living room’s screeching getting closer. It clambered around the corner and sprinted toward him. He wondered if he could pull off another swing.

“Hey!”

The zombie stopped mere feet from Jae-Ha and they both looked up toward the stairs. Standing halfway to the bottom was Kija, shotgun in hand. A tunnel of air whizzed past Jae-Ha as the shotgun fired and a bullet claimed its home in the zombie’s neck. Jae-Ha gave it one last blast with the bat for good measure. Kija ran down the stairs and threw his arms around Jae-Ha.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jae-Ha said, breathless. He broke away to pick up his pistol and held it out to Kija. “Here, let’s trade.”

Kija took it and gave him the shotgun. “I got your knife, too.”

“Thanks. You know, you’re not a bad shot.”

Jae-Ha saw him smile as they made their way to the garage. He opened the door for Kija and remembered the keys were in the living room.

“Get in the passenger’s seat, I’ll be right back.”

“Jae-Ha, _wait!_ ”

He raced to the living room and found the keys, luckily, untouched. Though another zombie was crawling in through the window now, with only half its face and a wretched smile. Jae-Ha took the keys and sprinted back, hearing the footsteps right behind his. He threw himself into the garage and shut the door just as it came to bang on the other side.

Kija was in the passenger’s seat as Jae-Ha had told him, and pushed the button on the ceiling of the van to open the garage. Jae-Ha sat down at the wheel and turned the key. The van burst to life just as the door to the house burst open and the faceless zombie flung itself at the windshield. Jae-Ha heard Kija scream and he put the van in reverse and floored it. The zombie held on, scratching at the front until Jae-Ha turned out of the driveway to shake it off and pulled forward onto the street.

Kija looked back, the remaining beasts behind them wailing at the sky, and Jae-Ha could hear the shaky breath torn from Kija’s throat.

The house was lost.

* * *

The hum of the engine droned on, blocking out any thought Jae-Ha’s mind could hope to put together. The sun was setting now, burying the horizon in a swarm of red and orange, as if carrying doom down onto the world below. He looked over to Kija, who sat in a ball with his knees up in the passenger’s seat. That feeling in his chest was bugging him again. But it was different this time, not a warmth brought on by Kija’s smile but a sickening cold, like blocks of ice filling his lungs and spreading into every vein. It was an hour before either of them spoke again. Kija slowly set his feet down to the floor of the van, leaning his head toward Jae-Ha but not quite looking at him.

“Where are we going?”

Jae-Ha wasn’t sure how to reply. His brain flickered from one option to another, digging through any survival knowledge he could unearth. They had enough water to last about a week, enough bullets left to get them through another scuffle or two, but no clean clothes or shelter other than the walls of the van.

He finally settled on an answer. “Somewhere to crash for the night.”

They were on the highway now, Jae-Ha still scouring his mind for anything useful, when he noticed a gas station just off the next exit. No other establishments nearby, no trees for anything to be sneaking around in. Just a single ghost of a building with a whole lot of potential.

Jae-Ha took the exit and pulled into the lot. He handed the pistol to Kija before taking his shotgun and stepping outside, a wall of cold night air sweeping over him. By then, the moon had risen, scaling the stars like they were a mountain to its peak. Jae-Ha had lived in cities his whole life, surrounded by the drone of traffic and artificial light along the skyline. He didn’t think he’d ever seen the night sky like this. Whereas the deepest hours of the evening had always been pitch-dark above his head, with just a speck of shine here and there, in front of him now lay a mural. The world up there was a canvas and the heavens had splashed it with colors he never knew existed; ribbons of purple and blue twisted together between hundreds of stars, like freckles dotting Mother Earth’s cheeks.

The passenger door shut, Kija stepping out to follow him. His hair was practically glowing in the starlight, casting a gleaming ring around his head. He was angelic. So much so that Jae-Ha had to clear his throat before speaking.

“There might be food leftover in there,” he said, nodding toward the gas station. “Stay behind me.”

Kija nodded and stepped in behind him. As they got closer, Jae-Ha could see the front door had been smashed. Glass littered the ground around the entrance, crushed further beneath his shoes, and he held a hand out to tell Kija to wait while he checked inside. He had to crouch slightly, too tall for the remaining glass shards at the top of the doorway.

The inside of the gas station looked like a mini-tornado had torn through it. Shelves lay on the ground in disarray, the freezers broken and robbed of their contents, boxes of cigars strewn about the floor. 

No people, or zombies, were left here from what he could tell. He motioned back to Kija to tell him to come in. They gathered any and all supplies they could find, taking trips to the van and back until there was nothing of use left in the building.

Once they’d loaded every first aid kit and snack pack they could into the trunk, Kija broke the silence. “Do we need gas as well?”

“Unfortunately, we couldn’t get any if we tried. It’s pretty much impossible to take gas from a pump like this. With no electricity, they just shut down. We could take gas from other cars but without something to use as a siphon, we’re stuck with what we have.” Jae-Ha watched as Kjia’s face fell into something like dread. The idea crept up on him to walk over and smooth out those lines of worry with his thumb. _What a hazardous thought_.

“So once the tank is empty, that’s it?” Kija asked. “We’re going on foot from there?”

“That would be correct,” Jae-Ha sighed. “Plus, fuel goes bad eventually. We have roughly thirty days before any gas we find will be unusable.”

Kija offered no response that time, simply crossed his arms and looked away, hugging himself in the chill of the wind. Jae-Ha knew him by then to be capable, but he looked so small there, so helpless, that he wanted nothing more than to tell him they’d be okay. Even when he knew nothing of what could come next or what could go wrong.

Jae-Ha vaguely remembered the blanket in the backseat and opened the door to take it. He made his way back to Kija and wrapped it around his shoulders as Kija looked up at him. Those eyes bore into him now. Bluer than the sky’s flaming streaks above them, glittering like crystals, they gazed into Jae-Ha’s very soul. With each passing second, he could feel it yearning for release, as if Kija’s eyes alone were drawing it out of him.

“Thank you,” Kija finally said. 

“Sure,” was all Jae-Ha could manage. He stepped back, overwhelmed, and almost feeling like he needed to catch his breath. So to distract himself, he did what he could do best: refuse to sit still. He walked a few laps around the van, stopping every so often to shake out his limbs. When Kija asked what he was doing he replied by simply saying he was stretching his legs, since they’d been in the car a while.

“We just finished loading supplies, you’re still not stretched out enough?” Kija asked, a hint of a smile in his expression.

“Not nearly,” said Jae-Ha. For emphasis, he placed his foot on the bumper of the van and leaned into it, like he was genuinely trying to sell that he was doing yoga at an abandoned gas station. The attempt at humor quickly backfired, however, when he put his foot back down and a _crack_ ripped itself from his hip.

Kija was quick to stifle a laugh with his hand while Jae-Ha tried to gain back his dignity. What little of it was left, anyway. He adjusted his pants and reoriented himself, but could tell from the smile lines across Kija’s face that he was silently giggling behind his palm. The sight was enough to calm him as he stood up straight. 

“I’m not that old, I promise,” Jae-Ha said, resisting the urge to face-palm.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-five.” He leaned his back against the van, his eyes drifting up to catch a glimpse of Kija’s. “You?”

“I’m twenty,” Kija answered. “For some reason, I thought you were younger.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment if you don’t mind.”

Kija laughed again, the sound rippling out of his chest like bubbles. Jae-Ha couldn’t help but smile too, seeing him like that. They’d known each other but a few days, yet they’d already seen hell and crawled out of it together. He supposed the apocalypse could do that to people.

He hopped onto the hood of the van and climbed up to sit on the roof. Kija gawked at him like he was out of his mind, and Jae-Ha thought that if Kija somehow hadn’t realized just how crazy he could prove to be yet, then he would learn very soon. He slid to one side and tapped the spot next to him for Kija to sit.

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on, Kija dear,” he said, patting the roof again. “Come look at the stars with me.”

“That’s a new van!”

“It’s the end of the world, there are no rules. Now, come on.”

Kija made a point of rolling his eyes but he climbed up nonetheless. As he sat down, his gaze up at the sky was wistful, from his side Jae-Ha saw him pulling his blanket tighter around himself. The question on his mind was a foolish one, he knew, but it fluttered out of him anyway:

“You okay?”

“Sorry, it’s just…” Kija took in a breath and paused for a long moment while his focus grew fixated on a point of the horizon. What he was seeing, Jae-Ha didn’t know, but he supposed it was something he’d never witnessed in the first place; memories from the not-so-distant past that felt like they came from a lifetime ago. “It all feels more real now. Like my life from before is really gone.”

And Jae-Ha knew exactly what that felt like. Anyone who was still alive did.

“Well then, let’s celebrate that life of yours. Tell me about it.”

Kija looked at him oddly. “What about it?”

“Anything. Anything you think is worthy enough to share.” Jae-Ha paused a moment, a lightbulb flickering on in his brain. “How about a game of Twenty Questions?”

“What are we, high schoolers?” Kija asked.

Jae-Ha laughed. “Just trust me. You can start if you want.”

He heard Kija hum in thought, and—very much like a high schooler—suddenly he was curious and embarrassingly excited to know what kinds of things he would ask him.

“What’s your favorite memory?”

“Ah,” Jae-Ha thought about it. He sifted through his mental camera and found a number of responses. When he ran away from Garou, when he picked up an erhu for the first time, but one, in particular, stuck out amongst the others. “I’d say when my adoptive mom took me in. My life growing up was really difficult but it turned around when I met her. She taught me the best life lessons I’ve ever had.”

“She sounds like a wonderful mother.”

“Yeah, she hates being called my mom, though,” Jae-Ha chuckled, Gigan’s voice playing like a recording in his head. “‘I don’t remember giving birth to your ugly ass’, she’d say.”

“O- _Oh_ , I see,” said Kija.

Jae-Ha grinned, Gigan always had been intimidating to those who didn’t know her. “My turn, then. What’s something you’re proud of?”

His eyes trailed over Kija’s face as he waited for an answer. Kija was deep in thought, a finger pressed to his lips, his foot bouncing.

“I think many of my biggest accomplishments were ahead of me before all of this started,” he finally said.

“There’s gotta be something you’ve done that you take pride in,” Jae-Ha leaned over and nudged his side. “What’s something you were good at?”

“Well, I’m a black belt. I’ve been training since I was three.”

Jae-Ha felt his jaw drop slightly. “Really? That’s an impressive feat, you should show me some of your moves sometime.” The comment wasn’t intended to be sexual, but as soon as it left Jae-Ha’s mouth, his “Oh, shit” radar blared in his head. Although, Kija seemed completely oblivious.

“Thank you, my teachers always said I had the best punch!”

“I had a feeling that mess back at the house wasn’t your first fistfight,” he said, deciding not to entertain his previous thought with any kind of remark. Besides, Kija was excitedly chatting with him for the first time all day. He didn’t want to ruin that.

“My turn again,” said Kija. “What do you do to calm yourself down when you’re stressed?”

“I play music a lot. I’m good on a few different instruments and writing songs has always helped me clear my head.”

This time it was Kija’s turn to gape. “That’s amazing! If we ever find instruments in this world, you need to play something for me.”

Yet another laugh escaped Jae-Ha. It seemed laughing was something he just couldn’t help doing around Kija. “I’ll make a point of looking around for them.”

Silence enveloped them as Jae-Ha’s turn came up. A question burned on his tongue but he wondered if perhaps it was too much, too personal. Yet it laid in wait on his lips, begging to be answered, and no other ideas came to him.

The quiet had not been lost on Kija. “It’s your turn.”

“Indeed it is.” The seconds passed to the drum of Jae-Ha’s heart. He’d already dived into the deep end, all that remained now was to swim further down, to discover what treasures lay buried beneath the waters.

“When was your first kiss?”

In the moonlight, he saw Kija flush, pink dusting his cheeks. He further cocooned himself in the blanket and refused to look at Jae-Ha.

“I…” he started. “...I prefer not to think about it.”

Jae-Ha let himself fall back comfortably into teasing. “Oh? Was it really that bad?”

Kija let out a frustrated sort of whine and hid his face. It was a few moments before he poked his head back up and spoke so softly that Jae-Ha had to lean in to hear.

“I was twelve and I was walking my friend home from school,” he said. “When we got to her house, she thanked me and then stood up on her toes to kiss me.”

“You’re embarrassed about _that?_ That’s not bad at all.” Leave it to Kija to be flustered over the slightest thing. There was a little pang in Jae-Ha’s chest, though, at the pronoun _she_. He wondered if any _he_ ’s had been in Kija’s life, been wrapped up in his lips.

“No, but the bad part is how I reacted,” Kija said.

“And how did you react?”

“Mm,” Kija heaved out a long, drawn-out sigh, contemplating finishing his story. “After she kissed me, she looked up at me and smiled like she was the happiest person on Earth. And I… ran away.”

If Jae-Ha had been drinking anything, he’d have done a spit-take. “I’m sorry, you _ran away?_ ”

“Without saying a word.”

He didn’t mean to laugh, he really didn’t, but Jae-Ha just couldn’t help cracking up at the image. “Okay, that _is_ pretty bad.”

“Well, you know what, I bet yours wasn’t so great, either!” argued Kija. “How did your first kiss go?”

He tilted his head back in thought, rewinding time to find himself in his high school parking lot in the dead of night. Rainwater pooled on the asphalt, car headlights flashing across the puddles to cast a glare in Jae-Ha’s face as he snuck around behind the building for a cigarette. His date had followed him out, in her frilly blue dress that was just a little too short, and she’d pulled the cigarette from his mouth and taken it for herself. From outside, the booming music in the gym sounded like it came from a fishbowl, and without a second thought Jae-Ha was leaning in, and the girl in the blue dress met him halfway.

“Sophomore year at the Homecoming dance. I was fifteen, and it’s actually a very fond memory of mine.” He hadn’t smoked in years, but he felt the taste in his mouth every time he thought about that night.

“Oh,” said Kija. “Well, lucky you.”

“Ah, well it was a decade ago now. You were twelve when you had yours, surely you’ve had some better experiences since.”

It was meant purely to continue the conversation, to indulge himself in learning more about him, but under the light of the stars, he could’ve sworn he saw Kija’s eyes drift down to his lips for just a moment.

“A few,” Kija said, pulling his blanket up again. “Nothing particularly noteworthy.”

All Jae-Ha could offer in response was a hum. The two of them fell silent again, and with no cars or wildlife around, the night was deadly still. He felt as though a breath too loud would cause the ground to tremble or the sky to tear itself apart like paper. And just as the thought came to him, he jumped at the sound of Kija yawning beside him.

“You’re allowed to sleep, you know,” he said.

Kija shook his head. “I wanted to keep talking with you, it’s more fun than I thought it would be.” Then he was looking over at Jae-Ha with that same damn smile that made him feel so clueless, like his usual confidence and easy responses had all but dried up in his throat. He watched Kija rub his eyes and yawn again, wrapped up like a kitten, and the tingle that had made its home in his chest bloomed into a flame. The petals licked at his heart and lungs, spread heat down to his fingers. And before he could convince himself better, he wrapped his arm around Kija’s shoulders and pulled him closer.

“We can talk all we want tomorrow. For now, rest. You deserve it.”

That flame flickered and blazed like a candle melting over as Kija shifted to rest his head on Jae-Ha’s shoulder.

“Alright. Then you sleep, too,” said Kija.

“I will.”

And as the minutes passed and he felt Kija’s body go limp, sleep avoided him, entirely captivated by the stars’ reflection in the boy’s eyes and the burning flower in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter was a bit trickier to write, since I knew the bigger events that I wanted to include but tying them together was a bit difficult, and it resulted in it being a bit longer. I hope it turned out well! Next week, we'll be getting a look at how Jae-Ha and Kija are managing survival out in the world, and maybe meet some new players...


	3. Finding Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Chapter 3!! Sorry it's delayed, I hope the content in this one makes up for it ;) I've got a little update on the last chapter in the end notes as well, so stay tuned and enjoy~!

Jae-Ha wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep. Sometime after he’d picked Kija up and set him down inside the van, sometime after he’d reclined the seats for their poor backs. Sometime before Kija had apparently draped the blanket across the front to cover both of them.

Nevertheless, the harsh sun streamed in through the windshield, turning the world behind his eyelids red. It baked the inside of the van like an oven, and Jae-ha awoke to the press of the heated seat against his cheek. His neck was sore, he’d slept crooked. His hair was a mess. But he sat up to see Kija, already awake and toying with a keychain. The bright white of the morning coated him in silver and poured into the blue of his eyes. In his drowsy haze, Jae-Ha felt as though he’d never seen blue before, like everything else had been monochrome before Kija and his eyes.

“Good morning,” Kija said to him then.

“Morning.”

Once Jae-Ha gathered his bearings, they walked around to the back and popped the trunk open, sitting on the edge while they had breakfast. Jae-Ha opted for a simple bag of gas station snack mix while Kija went for a can of green beans—which he seemed to regret as he opened the can and had to drain out the juice onto the pavement as Jae-Ha snickered at him.

“What? You’re eating pretzels and cheesy crackers, I’m trying to be healthy over here!”

“Oh yeah, that looks _super_ healthy.”

“Shut up,” Kija sighed. “Do we have silverware?”

“Actually, yeah, from the gas station,” Jae-Ha leaned further into the trunk and dug around, bringing out a bag of plastic spoons and forks. “Those really don’t seem appetizing, they’re so mushy.”

“Well, it’s still more nutritious than what you’re having.” Kija unwrapped a fork and took a bite, recoiling a bit. Whether at the taste or the texture, Jae-Ha didn’t know, happily crunching on his junk food. He watched him struggle through a few more bites before offering him a pretzel, but Kija shook his head and insisted that he would be fine.

“What I wouldn’t give for a real meal, though,” Kija said. “If all of this were to end, I think the first thing I’d do is get some fresh clothes and go to a nice restaurant.”

Jae-Ha laughed. “I imagine you have pretty refined tastes.”

“What about you?” Kija asked. “What would you do first if everything went back to normal?”

“What would I do?” Jae-Ha leaned back but he didn’t have to think about it for long. “I think I’d take a hot shower. Or a bath. The longest, hottest bath ever.”

“Ah, yes I’d shower, too,” Kija’s face lit up like he’d forgotten that option. “Oh, to feel clean again…”

After they’d finished their food, they took turns taking bathroom breaks behind the gas station and got back in the van.

“Where to, now?”

“Well,” said Jae-Ha. “I suppose we find semi-permanent shelter. I would suggest staying here for a while but the gas station’s windows and doors are all broken. We wouldn’t be protected in an emergency situation like at the house.” He immediately filled with regret at mentioning the house, but Kija didn’t seem bothered.

“Alright. Lead the way, then.”

And so Jae-Ha turned the key and got them back on the road. They had enough supplies for the time being, what they needed was another place to stay. Walls to protect them and beds to sleep in, for Jae-Ha wasn’t keen on sleeping in the van out in the open. If a determined zombie wanted to slam its fist through the windshield in the dead of night, it easily could.

It could in a house too, as had happened at Kija’s. But at least they’d be prepared.

They were on a rural road now, passing crop fields and the occasional animal pen. A silo and a barn came into view, but the wooden building looked as if a giant had smashed half of it with its foot and left the place to rot. Jae-Ha doubted they’d find anything of use in there. They went up over a small hill and at the bottom was a single zombie in the middle of the road, feasting on some poor soul’s corpse. Jae-Ha grinned and pressed on the gas a bit harder.

For a fraction of a second, he heard Kija about to yell, but they ran the zombie over before he could utter a word. The van went _thump-thump_ as the tires dragged over it and jostled Jae-Ha and Kija in their seats. After a moment of staring wide-eyed at the road, Kija looked back at the roadkill they’d just made and slapped Jae-Ha’s shoulder.

“Ow, _what?_ Now there’s one less of those things in the world.”

Kija huffed. “Fine, but I’m not the one cleaning the blood off the tires.”

“You say that as if we need to,” said Jae-Ha, but a glance over told him that Kija was no longer listening. He was peering out the window, at something Jae-Ha couldn’t see from his side.

“Stop the car,” Kija suddenly said.

Jae-Ha was bewildered but obeyed, and as the soft hum of the van settled down there was a muffled noise from outside. Something far off but high-pitched. Shrill and grating as Kija rolled down his window.

And they realized it was a woman screaming. 

Off in the field, Jae-Ha could see the outline of a mass of zombies grouped together in a circle. There were ten, at least, and hidden in the center was someone crying their heart out for dear life.

“Drive closer.”

“Kija, hang on—”

“Jae-Ha, drive closer! Or do you want them to die?” Kija looked back at him, his expression unwavering. Jae-Ha suspected that if he refused, Kija would take the steering wheel from his grip and force him to go anyway.

“Okay,” Jae-Ha pulled the van off the road and into the field, stopping close enough to see the mini-gathering clearly. The screaming was louder there, and some of the zombies in the center were being shoved away from the source. Jae-Ha was about to step out with his shotgun but to his surprise, and mild horror, Kija leaned across his body and slammed his fist on the horn. The next thing he knew, the entire hoard was staring right at them, and Kija was sticking his head out the passenger window.

“Hey, nasty freaks! Over here!”

Jae-Ha was almost certain he was going into cardiac arrest. If there was anything left of his heart by the time Kija was done putting it through hell, it would surely require medical aid to continue beating. But in the split-second where every zombie was eyeing them, just before their feet moved into full throttle, Jae-Ha saw the survivors. A girl with fiery red hair, and a tall man armed with a pitchfork.

Kija sat back down. “Better put those zombie-flattening skills of yours to work.”

Oh well. His heart could wait.

The zombies dashed at them at full speed as Jae-Ha floored it. The van surged up and four of them hit the front and went right under the bumper. Driving over them felt like the ground was full of pot-holes, rattling the inside. As Jae-Ha turned the van around, he caught a glimpse of the surviving man taking one down with his pitchfork before he hit the gas again, slamming several more down to the ground. A lone zombie remained, having grown tired of chasing the van and turned back to the two in the open for an easier meal. As Jae-Ha stepped on the brake, Kija nabbed the pistol from the center console and leaned out the window again. He fired three shots, two of which seemed to hit, and the wounded zombie spun around and clambered toward him. Kija waited until it was close enough to shoot once more in the head.

The earth went still as the last zombie slumped lifelessly to the ground, the survivors just in front of the van now. Jae-Ha was short of breath at the wheel, adrenaline fading out, but he rolled down his window.

“You two alright?”

“Yes, thanks to you.” The girl with the red hair looked about ready to collapse to her knees, but she stood as tall as she could. The man with her gave a nod, but his front was covered in blood, his shirt ripped. Kija pushed his door open, about to throw himself out of the van but Jae-Ha grabbed his arm.

“Wait, we don’t know if either of them has been bitten,” he whispered. “We’ve done our part, we should go now.”

Kija pulled his arm away. “We can check for bites, but if either of them is hurt then we should help. Isn’t there strength in numbers?”

“Not always,” said Jae-Ha.

“Just trust me,” Kija said. “If they’re bad news, we can leave them here just like we found them. But the least we can do is offer some assistance.”

His every thought nagged him, not about how to protect himself but how to protect Kija. Yet he felt bare and vulnerable under his gaze, that look that said he couldn’t be convinced otherwise no matter what Jae-Ha tried.

“Alright, but take a weapon,” he said and Kija nodded, holding up his pistol. Jae-Ha grabbed his knife and they exited the van, making their way up to the other two slowly. The man put himself between them and the girl, shielding her with his arm while she looked up at him in protest.

“Hak, stop,” she said. “They just saved us!”

“Yeah, and now they’re waltzing out to point their toys at us.” With his other hand, the man—Hak—pointed his pitchfork. “If you’re planning on robbing us, we don’t have anything.”

“We’re not going to rob you,” said Kija. “We wanted to see if you were hurt or needed help.”

“But first we need to make sure you aren’t infected. These are just a precaution, you know how it is.” Jae-Ha lifted his knife and stashed it in his belt to make sure they saw him put it away. He inched closer to the man with his hands up, assessing the state of his body. “That’s a lot of blood, there. I hope it isn’t yours.”

“It isn’t,” said Hak.

“I also hope you would allow me to make sure. For myself and my partner’s sake.”

Hak eyed him like he was debating whether to indulge Jae-Ha or pounce on him like an animal. Finally, he dropped the pitchfork. “Fine. But don’t think you can try anything.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Jae-Ha said as he got to work. He inspected the rips across Hak’s shirt, moving the fabric to check for wounds. He was a little banged up, to be sure, but he seemed to be telling the truth when he said none of the blood was his. There were no open cuts across his torso, nor elsewhere as Jae-Ha checked over his limbs. He glanced over and saw Kija trying to busy himself with examining the girl for injuries, timidly patting her down. He’d have found it funny if the flame in his heart wasn’t trembling against his ribs. 

“She’s fine,” Kija said after a moment. “Some bruises but no cuts or open wounds anywhere.”

“Same with him,” said Jae-Ha.

The girl spoke up. “Thank you so much for helping us, I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am. My name’s Yona, and this is Hak.”

“I’m Kija, and this is Jae-Ha. We have spare water and food if you guys need anything.”

The trunk popped open and Yona and Hak gaped at the inside as if it were filled with gold. Yona politely but eagerly asked if she could take a bag of trail mix, while Hak on the other hand nabbed a water bottle and chugged almost the entire thing in one breath. The four of them sat down at the side of the van, Jae-Ha grabbing a fun-size bag of chips on the way to share with Kija.

“We thought we were all alone out here,” said Yona. “What brings you guys to the middle of nowhere?”

“We’ve been looking for a place to stay, somewhere not too populated.” Jae-Ha popped a chip in his mouth, glancing back to Hak’s pitchfork. “What about you? Are you farmers from around here?”

“Not farmers,” said Hak. Yona held out her trail mix to him and he took a handful, continuing to talk without seeming to care that his mouth was full. “Just passing through, I found this rusty thing in a barn not too far off. We’re on our way to Fuuga.”

“Fuuga?” asked Jae-Ha. “We’re somewhere near Chi-shin now, that’s at least a twenty-hour drive east of here. You were going on foot?”

Yona glanced over to Hak and then down at her hands, fidgeting before slowly looking back to Jae-Ha. “We didn’t have any other options.”

“But why Fuuga?”

“We’ve heard there’s a safe haven there,” said Hak. “Groups of survivors building a shelter. My gramps lives there, and last we heard from him, he was telling us to get there as fast as we could.”

Jae-Ha’s brain went into static, like a television with no signal in a storm. Between the fuzz and the sirens in his head, the rest of Hak’s explanation was drowned out, only two words blaring through to the surface: _Safe haven. Safe haven. Safe haven._ A glimpse to his side told him that Kija was thinking the same. They locked eyes and between them passed an understanding, a hope and a vow, that perhaps they could be safe from the distortion of what the world had become.

Kija spoke up before Jae-Ha could string any words together. “We have a vehicle. We could get there in just a couple of days.” He broke eye contact then, looking toward the others. “You could come with us!”

Flashes of hope beamed across their faces, Yona’s tired eyes welling up as Hak ran a calloused hand down his face. Jae-Ha knew the exhaustion well, the fatigue that consumed one’s body, seeping into their bones, until it was too much. Until running for one’s life grew too taxing on their weary feet. Jae-Ha knew. And the looks on their faces brought him back to reality above the static. Brought him back to how he didn’t feel so weary anymore, not in the shelter that Kija had given him.

“You would take us with you?” Yona asked then.

And again Jae-Ha knew, even before he heard Yona’s breath catch in her throat as she waited for an answer. Before Kija turned to him as if to ask permission, grasping his hand and pleading with those eyes of his. 

“I suppose we have room for two more in the van.”

Yona’s tears spilled over, sobs rushing past her lips. She came forward and threw her arms around Jae-Ha and Kija, pulling them both into a hug. They squeezed back and Jae-Ha looked up to see Hak coming closer as well, though he simply put a hand on Jae-Ha’s shoulder and smiled as hushed “thank you’s” poured out of Yona.

“Alright,” said Kija. “Let’s get going to Fuuga.”

* * *

As nightmarish as everything around them was, Jae-Ha couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the sunsets had been since the fall of the world. They were driving east, a heavy blanket of blue and violet ahead of them. Though if he looked in the rearview mirror, he could see the ghostly wisps of orange flowing like cursive writing across the sky. Looking forward, it was like a hole cut in the air that led to another realm.

Also in his vision in the mirror were Hak and Yona, fast asleep leaning against each other. They looked so much like children there, so innocent, despite how much they must have been through. 

His thoughts cut off with a yawn. They’d been driving for hours, his shoulders were sore and his fingertips were going numb. He rolled his neck and stretched as much as the seat would allow and shook out his hands one at a time.

“We can switch if you want,” said Kija.

“I’d appreciate that.”

They pulled over and swapped, Hak stirring a bit from the noise but quickly going back to his nap. Jae-Ha didn’t blame him. The road they were taking soon merged into a grove of trees. Forest suddenly surrounded them on all sides, the light from the sunset dripping yellow and orange onto the ground between the leaves. It was a welcome change of scenery from the dry, open fields and abandoned barns. But something caught Jae-Ha’s eye, a gravel path that connected to the road and turned further into the mass of trees. A wooden structure lay at the end of it, well-hidden as they approached.

“Kija, turn here, there’s something over there I wanna check out.”

Kija complied and turned onto the path. It was narrow at first but widened out after a moment to connect to a driveway. Above them the trees gave way to a clearing, letting the last bits of light fall in undisturbed. And there in the middle of it lay a cabin.

They gaped at the sight in front of them. The place was sturdy and intact, and solar panels lined the roof. Jae-Ha grabbed the shotgun from under his seat and reached back to tap Yona and Hak awake.

“Rise and shine, kids. We may have just found our lodging for the night.”

Yona pushed herself up and rubbed her face. “Really?”

“Yeah, really,” said Jae-Ha. “You two stay here a minute. Kija, let’s check it out.”

They stepped out of the van and circled around the cabin on both sides, finding the surrounding area clear. They did a sweep of the inside of the house as well, finding it to be in good condition. No windows were broken and everything appeared to be unscathed. There was no sign of any zombies anywhere, as if the place inhabited its own little pocket of the world, undisturbed by anything that tried to soil its purity. It was almost frightening.

Jae-Ha went back to the van and opened the back door. “Alright, we’re clear.”

The front door led directly into the kitchen and dining room area, with two bedrooms down the hall. As the group stepped in, Hak flipped the kitchen light switch, filling the room with light.

“Hey, it still works!” he said.

“Those solar panels are certainly doing their job.” Jae-Ha set his shotgun on the table and plopped into a chair. It was immensely reassuring to be in a house again. As he made himself comfortable, Kija sat down next to him and smiled, no doubt thinking the same thing. He wanted to say something, perhaps about how amazing it was that they’d made it this far, but the sound of a faucet stopped him.

“Guys!” cried Yona. “This place still has running water!”

The three men shot up from their places to join her at the sink. Indeed, fresh water poured out as if nothing was wrong. Hak rummaged through the cabinets and found a clear glass, sticking it under the flow. It filled up and he turned the faucet off and held up the glass. The water was crystal clear, not a spec of contamination.

“I thought all the water would have shut off by now, mine did back home,” said Kija.

“You were closer to a city, so yours went out pretty quickly,” said Jae-Ha. “Still, this place must have its own well.”

Suddenly Yona gasped, the others all turning to her, startled. She faced them with excitement. “I wonder if the showers work.”

Jae-Ha lit up at the idea. In the next moment, the group was checking the bathrooms—one in the hallway and one in the master bedroom. Both showers worked perfectly, and they set on finding towels and determining who would go first.

“Alright, princess, you go ahead,” said Hak.

“No, _you_ go first, Hak! You’re still covered in dried blood, I can wait.” Yona shoved the towel into Hak’s arms and pushed him into the bathroom before he could protest. She dusted off her hands and smiled before heading off. “If you guys need me, I’ll be in the living room.”

So Jae-Ha and Kija got the master bedroom with the private bathroom attached. They set down their belongings and in came the silence, with the realization that they would be sharing a bed flooding to the front of Jae-Ha’s brain. He wasn’t sure why the notion made his palms sweat, for they’d slept right next to each other in the van. But there was something deeply intimate about sleeping in a bed next to someone, their face the first thing you see with the light of morning. Jae-Ha wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t explode.

“You go in first,” said Kija. “You’re tired from the drive, and I know how badly you wanted to take a shower.”

But at that moment, all Jae-Ha wanted to do was run around outside and maybe kick something. Movement calmed him, exercise eased his nerves. “It’s okay, you can go. I’m gonna explore around here a bit more.”

“Are you sure?” Kija asked.

“I’m sure. Now go enjoy getting yourself cleaned up, Kija dear.” He tried to put on his famous grin but Kija’s own radiant expression drowned it out. He was smiling ear-to-ear, and that flame in Jae-Ha’s chest burned brighter.

“It’s been a while since you called me ‘dear’. I missed it.” Kija took a towel and made his way to the bathroom, stopping in the doorway. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Yeah.” Jae-Ha stared at the door long after it shut. There was a twinge in his heart, spreading down to his stomach. An uneasy, almost sick feeling weaving its way into his body. He couldn’t place why. But it didn’t matter. Thinking about it would just make it worse, anyway.

He walked out into the living room, finally taking the time to analyze the interior of the cabin. There were cute little knickknacks everywhere, paintings of dragons hanging on the walls. Figurines lined the shelves, and framed photos of a couple were displayed on every wall. Above the fireplace was what appeared to be their wedding photo. It reminded him of the frames on Kija’s walls. But this place felt different, more lived-in. The couple that had spent their days here had clearly been content with their simple house and homey decor.

“It’s so cozy here, isn’t it?”

Yona’s voice popped up from behind him. He turned to see her curled up in a recliner, as comfortable as could be.

“It certainly is.” Jae-Ha made his way over and lowered himself onto a couch next to her. His thoughts were swarming, trying to poke their way out of his head. He attempted and failed to distract himself by counting the paintings around the room.

“Is everything okay? You look anxious,” said Yona.

Jae-Ha tried to play it off with a smile. “Do I?”

“Yes, you do.” She leaned closer to him, her bundle of red curls bouncing with the shift. “I know that we’re practically strangers, but you saved my life. The least I can do to repay that is listen to your troubles for a bit."

He took in a long breath and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. Two sides of his brain nagged at him—one saying to share his feelings, to let them fly out into the freeing embrace of acknowledgment, the other urging him to stay silent, to make a joke and pretend. Pretend that he was fine, pretend that his insides weren’t burning with affection. Fake a smile, like he always did, always used to. But the sincerity in Yona’s face persuaded him. She had a kind stubbornness to her that felt all too familiar.

“It’s Kija,” he started. “I’m not really sure what to do about it, being around him is just…”

The words got stuck somewhere between his heart and his throat, but Yona’s gentle eyes reassured him.

“It’s confusing. I haven’t even known him for that long, but I care about him more than I ever thought I would. He makes me feel like all of my defenses have come crashing down, and when he smiles it feels like I’m on fire."

When Jae-Ha looked up, Yona was beaming at him. She rested her chin in her hand and gave him a dreamy look. “You have feelings for him.”

The words sent a jolt down his spine, though they didn’t surprise him. He’d known all along that he was enchanted by Kija and his bravery, his knight-like valor. There was a determination in him that Jae-Ha was hopelessly drawn to. But saying it aloud was a different story—no, a different genre entirely. His mind drifted back to the house when Kija had asked why he’d stayed with him.

The answer really was simple. It was plain as day. It was because Jae-Ha cared.

Perhaps more than cared. He longed, he _yearned_ to stay by Kija’s side. And Yona must have seen it in his face, the defeat and acceptance of what was undeniably true. She reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

“If you feel comfortable with it, I think you should tell him,” she said. “Even if he doesn’t feel the same, Kija doesn’t seem like the type of person to treat you differently afterward. It’ll be okay.”

Would it be okay if he told him?

Soon, Hak was out of the shower for Yona to take his place. A few minutes later and Kija was done, as well, and as Jae-Ha undressed and stepped under the showerhead, his mind refused to calm. The hot water did wonders for his drained body, but it was hard to focus on anything when all he could picture was Kija. He stood in the steam, alarmed by the rate at which the images came to him. Briefly, the thought forced its way into his head, what Kija would look like pressed against the shower wall, caged by Jae-Ha’s arms as the water sliced over them.

It must’ve been no more than twenty minutes, but he felt like he’d been in there for hours. He pulled on a shirt and pajama pants he’d found in the drawers of the bedroom, a bit snug on him, and left the bathroom. He was entirely unprepared for what lay in wait in front of him.

Kija was sitting on the bed, now dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers. He looked up at Jae-Ha as he came in, and _god,_ that smile was going to ruin him.

“Comfortable?” he found the courage to ask.

“Yes,” said Kija. “Sorry if this is too awkward, I can find something else.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Jae-Ha said a bit too quickly. He took a seat on the bed and dried out his hair with his towel, brushing out the long strands with his fingers and opting out of putting it back up for the night. As he worked, he could feel Kija’s eyes on him, like he was waiting for Jae-Ha to be done. Finally, he set the towel aside, his pulse thrashing against his ribcage.

“Jae-Ha, can I ask you something?”

“You know, every time you ask me a question like this, it’s always followed by something crazy happening.”

Kija tilted his head. “Like what?”

“Like after you asked me to teach you how to use a gun, we staged a distraction plan to snag the van. After you asked why I stuck with you, you punched a zombie in the face. Crazy seems to follow us wherever we go.”

Kija snorted. “I guess so. But suppose I have something else crazy to say, would that be okay?”

“Of course,” said Jae-Ha.

Kija let out a deep breath. He was tugging at the front of his shirt, his eyes darting around the room. He looked nervous and it made Jae-Ha equally so.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about you, and about us,” he said. “I spoke to Hak while you were showering and… I’ve come to a realization.”

Jae-Ha didn’t notice that he was leaning forward until his hand shifted under him. They were close, close enough for him to see every snowy eyelash flitting like the wings of a butterfly.

“I have, too,” Jae-Ha said. He hesitated, cautiously placing his hand atop Kija’s. The earth may as well have stopped spinning, for Jae-Ha couldn’t hear a thing besides his own heartbeat, and perhaps Kija’s. “What’s yours?”

Kija swallowed and finally locked his gaze with Jae-Ha’s. “That you’re important to me, and I don’t think I could put into words how thankful I am to have you. What was yours?”

“That you’re unbearably precious to me and I’ve no idea what to do with myself.” The words rang true even then, and he found himself with nothing to add, even as thousands of things to say barrelled around his skull. “I’m sorry, matters of the heart aren’t quite my specialty.”

“With how much you flirt, I would have guessed the opposite.”

In the lamplight hovering over their faces, Jae-Ha felt lost. Completely, utterly lost. His understanding of himself and the world had been flipped upside down, a ship in the wreckage of a storm. But it was Kija who pulled him above the waves, Kija who swam with him back to shore. It was always Kija.

His hand found its way to his cheek, cradling him in the silence. Kija’s eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into Jae-Ha’s palm, setting his own hand on top. When his eyes opened again, all Jae-Ha could see was blue. That same blue that trailed across the night sky, that breathed peace onto the earth, that Jae-Ha had seen the stars in. He watched as that blue drifted down to his lips.

Nothing else mattered then. Not the end of the world, not the homes they had each left behind. All that mattered was being in each other’s arms. All that mattered was the heat of each other’s breath as Jae-Ha leaned in.

The press of his lips to Kija’s was feather-light. As they moved together, without hurry, without doubt, the thought came to Jae-Ha in a dream-like trance that he’d never felt anything so soft. Kija swept up his lips in silk, sending sparks across his tongue. He didn’t think he would ever get enough of it.

He held Kija steady with a hand at the small of his back, shivers shooting down as he felt fingers trail up his neck and into his hair. The air slipped out of his lungs with every brush of Kija’s tongue against his, every gasp against his mouth, and there wasn’t time to think. No, barely time to breathe despite how slowly, how _perfectly_ they fit together.

It was a fragment of heaven, a sanctuary, far from the ruin that surrounded them. For he had found his refuge and it was in Kija’s heart, now and forever.

Pulling apart felt as though Jae-Ha was woken up from a dream; finding an oasis in the scorch of the desert and opening his eyes to see the ocean at his feet, chill winds caressing his skin with mists of saltwater. And as he watched Kija slowly open his eyes, their lips still grazing together, he thought he might as well have been at the ocean. Kija shivered in his hands as he trailed them up and down his back through the fabric of his shirt.

“Is this okay?” Jae-Ha asked as his fingers settled at the hem. “Is... all of this okay?”

Kija seemed to think the question over for a moment, before sitting up straighter with his hands on Jae-Ha’s face. “I think I’d be okay with anything you gave me.”

The flame in Jae-Ha’s heart erupted into an inferno. A rose made of lava poured out into his every cell, his thoughts lost in the embers. He wasn’t sure what would happen if those embers sunk into the sea of Kija’s eyes. Whether they would burn hotter, turning the waves to steam as they glowed under the surface, or whether they would simmer and cool as the water enveloped him. Either way, he craved it. And he didn’t want to wait for another second to find out.

He slid his hands under Kija’s shirt, running them up his sides before pulling it over his head. Kija shivered again at the sudden chill but wrapped his arms around Jae-Ha’s neck, pulling him in for another soft, languid kiss. Jae-Ha’s hands itched for contact, for Kija’s warmth. Itched to feel every inch of his skin. He dragged them over Kija’s back again, relishing the way he sighed into his mouth. But there was something there that tore Jae-Ha out of his haze. Rugged stripes lined his back, like tears in the smooth expanse of his body, and he pulled back to look Kija in the eye.

“What are...” he started.

Kija looked up at him and smiled. The sweet smile that he’d longed to see every second, but it was tainted with something somber. It was melancholy. Practiced. He leaned up and pressed his forehead to Jae-Ha’s.

“It was a long time ago, don’t worry about it.”

Then he kissed Jae-Ha again, painfully gentle, and Jae-Ha ached with every ounce of his being. He pulled away from Kija’s lips to press kisses on his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, and as he held him there in the lamplight, he could see a glint of water in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes. Jae-Ha took him into an embrace, and as Kija’s hands cautiously landed on his back, he didn’t ever want to let go.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he said. “And you don’t have to pretend, either.”

Kija was right next to his ear, and he heard the sharp, shaky breath from him clear as day. As they kissed again, Jae-Ha could only hope that he could return the haven he’d found in Kija’s love, give him the same comfort of not being alone.

“Thank you,” Kija breathed.

Jae-Ha smiled, rivers of lava flowing through him once more. “Is this still okay?”

Kija giggled and the sound rang in his ears. “More than okay.”

Jae-Ha caught Kija's lips again and his hands continued exploring his skin. His chest, the muscle of his stomach, his thighs. He was getting childishly excited—in more ways than one—and had to remind himself to keep things slow. This wasn’t about rushing. Kija wasn’t just another fling finding himself in Jae-Ha’s bed for a night. He was more than that, and Jae-Ha wanted to savor every bit of this.

Meanwhile, Kija seemed to be enjoying himself with his own exploration. His fingers glided over Jae-Ha’s arms, his neck, and down his chest, finally slipping under his shirt to trace his abs. Every touch picked him apart, little by little until Kija’s hand went lower to rub him through his pants. It was unexpected. Bold. But Kija was always brash and unpredictable, throwing Jae-Ha’s heart for a loop every time he spoke. Was that not one of the reasons he was falling for him in the first place?

It made Jae-Ha gasp, a tiny noise that didn’t go unnoticed. Kija grinned at him, looked up at him through his lashes.

“Is _this_ okay?” he asked.

And the only answer Jae-Ha could get out was another kiss as Kija pulled down his pants and took out his cock. He was already hard, and he choked on the feeling of Kija’s fingers around him, soft as flower petals as he touched him with long, deliberate strokes. It was agonizing. And it was perfect.

Jae-Ha’s head fell forward onto Kija’s shoulder, resisting the urge to buck up or beg Kija for more. He turned his face and Kija’s neck was right there, so close, and he tilted to kiss it. Open-mouthed, wet, and just enough pressure to leave Kija shuddering and his hand twitching around Jae-Ha’s cock. With a bit of his confidence returning, he moved his kisses down Kija’s throat, across his collarbone, settling at his nipple to delicately suck the skin there. Kija’s hand squeezed a bit involuntarily, though he was trying to stay composed. So as Jae-Ha moved to the other nipple, he gently pushed him down into the bed.

Kija’s hand fell away from his cock, reaching to entwine in his hair instead. Those boxers were all Kija had left on, all that separated Jae-Ha from seeing him in his entirety, and he lifted Kija’s hips and pulled them off with such care in his eyes that only a lover could hold. In front of him laid the most breathtaking sight he’d ever been witness to. For a moment he simply stared, dragging his eyes along Kija’s slender form, memorizing every detail. The little mole on his leg, the slight curve to his waist, the lovely pink spreading down from his cheeks.

“What are you staring at?” His dearest was looking up at him now, face full of curiosity. Jae-Ha didn’t know how to say that he felt like he was looking at the universe. Galaxies swirling in Kija’s skin, stardust in his eyes. He was looking at all that he knew and would ever know. He was looking at the answer, he was looking at home. 

“Everything,” he said. “ _Everything._ ” Jae-Ha leaned up to his lips once more before moving back down, a path of kisses stretching down his stomach. He spread Kija’s legs and kissed up his thighs, leaving light marks on the way to his goal. Finally, he took Kija’s cock and licked a long stripe up, from the base to the head.

Kija gripped his shoulder, a quiet groan escaping him. Jae-Ha was so entranced, so lost in his own enjoyment that it took him a moment to realize that Kija was trying to get his attention. He lifted his mouth and Kija reached over to the bedside drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube.

“How did you know that was in there?” Jae-Ha asked.

Kija grinned. “I found it while you were in the shower. There are condoms, too.” Jae-Ha was dumbfounded. Though he silently thanked the cabin’s previous owners for their generous gift.

He took the lube and spread it over his fingers. Leaning in to kiss Kija again, he pressed a fingertip to his entrance, circling and teasing it. Kija gasped into the kiss, and as Jae-Ha pushed his finger in to the knuckle, he whined and had to break away. It was a few seconds before he nodded to let Jae-Ha know to continue. His hands tangled in strands of green as Jae-Ha gently thrust his finger in and out, soon adding a second. He was addicted to the face Kija was making, mouth open in a silent moan, eyes scrunched shut. Jae-Ha could tell he was struggling to keep quiet with Hak and Yona in the other room. He was panting with every movement by the time Jae-Ha slipped in a third, stretching him out and curling his fingers to reach that one spot that would make Kija fall apart.

And fall apart, he did. Jae-Ha watched as he threw his head back, scrambling to cover his mouth as his other hand tightened in his hair. Kija’s hips were bucking just slightly now, craving more friction on that spot from Jae-Ha’s skillful fingers. But Jae-Ha wouldn’t give him all that he wanted. Not quite yet.

 _“Jae-Ha,_ " Kija whispered. “I’m gonna...”

And Jae-Ha stilled his fingers before Kija could finish his sentence.

“Not yet, darling. We haven’t gotten to the main event.” Jae-Ha pulled his fingers out, Kija squirming beneath him from being denied his release. Nonetheless, he smiled, his breath shaky.

“You’re confident.”

“I am,” said Jae-Ha, using the moment to finally pull off his shirt. He took the condoms from the drawer and unwrapped one, rolling it down his cock as Kija watched, fascinated. That stare felt like a physical thing, a touch that covered every corner of Jae-Ha’s body while he pumped the lube over his length. When he looked to Kija’s face, he was biting his lip, waiting with the impatience of a dog with a treat waving in its face.

“Eager?” Jae-Ha asked, lining himself up with Kija’s ass.

“Maybe,” said Kija. Though just as Jae-Ha was about to push in, he sat up and stopped him with a hand to his chest. “Hang on.”

A sliver of worry flashed in Jae-Ha’s brain, but it quickly dissipated as Kija flipped their positions, straddling him.

“How’s this?” Kija asked.

“Oh god, _perfect."_

Kija laughed and aimed himself over Jae-Ha’s cock, sinking down at last. It was immediately intoxicating, being wrapped in the heat of Kija’s ass. Tight and burning hot around him, so overwhelming that he almost forgot to breathe. Kija sat still, getting accustomed to the additional width and length compared to just Jae-Ha’s fingers, but soon he began to move.

Any and all coherent thought flew out of Jae-Ha’s mind then. His awareness was gone, his words scrambled into gibberish. He was simply a vessel for pleasure, Kija’s palms flat on his chest as he rocked himself on his cock. Slow, torturous, and _wonderful_. He brought Kija’s hands up to his lips to shower his knuckles in kisses, then wove their fingers together. The sight of Kija above him, riding him with their hands interlocked, he could only describe as ethereal. And Jae-Ha wanted more. Not harder thrusts, not faster movements, but proximity. As if everything in his heart would burst and flood out if he wasn’t as close to his lover as possible. He sat up to lean against the headboard, pulling Kija with him into his lap.

There it was. The irresistible heat of Kija’s skin against his as they pressed together, chest to chest. Velvety, the smoothest thing in the world, igniting trails of fire everywhere they touched. Jae-Ha kissed along his neck and down to his nipple again, the sweet taste on his tongue more addicting than any drug, any smoke. Kija was bouncing more urgently now, seeking pressure deeper in, where Jae-Ha had his fingers before. As Jae-Ha granted his wish, gently thrusting up to hit his prostate, he couldn’t help reaching down to stroke his cock. Kija’s nails dug into his skin, his breath coming out ragged. His ass was clenching and Jae-Ha knew he was close. He lifted his head to give him one last kiss before he finished.

Kija jerked and came into his hand. His breath was hot on Jae-Ha’s lips, and sweet, delicious moans that he couldn’t hold in escaped into the room. The air was thick around them as they stilled. They shared the same breath as Kija tried desperately to catch his, spent and overstimulated.

Jae-Ha was agonizingly close, as if he would come if Kija so much as moved. But then Kija was pushing him back down into the bed, and his first little bounce sent him over the edge. His hands reached out for Kija’s ass, his hips, and up his scarred back as he pulled him down on top of him, holding him during his orgasm. Fingers weaved into his hair again and Kija’s hips were twitching, stuttering like his elegant voice did whenever Jae-Ha playfully teased him. That voice grounded him now through bliss, gasping and whispering his name like it was the only word he knew.

As his high washed over him, all Jae-Ha could feel was warmth. His partner’s warmth on top of him, the warmth fogging his mind, and the warmth in his heart. Everything else was buried beneath the lava surging through his veins, and as they cleaned up and fell back into bed, there wasn’t a single place that Jae-Ha wanted to be except in Kija’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers!! First of all, thank you for being here and sticking with this. Seriously, it means to world to me. Secondly, I really wanted to keep a regular update schedule for Mondays with this one, but things got a little rocky as my workplace is opening back up after being closed from COVID. I'll be going back in for shifts soon, so Chapter 4 likely will not be ready by this coming Monday. So expect the final chapter of this on Friday the 12th! Sorry for the delay, everyone, but I really want to make this special and worth it for y'all and for that I need a wee bit more time.
> 
> This is also my first time actually writing smut, I hope it turned out well!
> 
> Thank you for understanding, and thank you even more for reading my story!! I hope you enjoyed this -ahem- adventure of a chapter!! See you lovely folks next week~


	4. The Door To Your Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, I've got the final chapter!! And I'm only *checks calendar* ...... a month late.... Sorry about that 😅
> 
> It's a whole 11k words though! And I do have an announcement regarding this fic in the end notes, so hopefully that will make up for it~ I think you guys will like it 😉
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for coming back and I hope you enjoy!!

With the dawn of the new day came the captivating euphoria of waking up with Kija in his arms, the amorous, playful daze of infatuation as they got dressed in the lazy sunlight, and the awkward realization that perhaps they’d not been as quiet the previous night as they’d thought.

As they stepped out of the bedroom and into the kitchen together, Yona spared them a glance and a small wave as she hid her face. Hak eyed them suspiciously, gaze darting between them.

“Good morning,” said Yona, still avoiding eye contact. “Did you sleep well?"

“Oh, I think they slept _v_ _ery_ well,” Hak said.

Jae-Ha sighed and sat down at the table. “We slept fine. Thank you for asking.”

The cabin still had salvageable food remaining. With the solar panels, the fridge ran like normal, though it was empty save for hotdogs and a bag of bite-sized donuts. There was cereal and peanut butter in the pantry and Hak went straight into the latter with a spoon. Jae-Ha stood to get glasses of water for Kija and himself, and as he sat back down he felt Kija’s hand rest on his knee as if to say, _"It's ok_ _ay, they’ll come around._ " The subtle gesture made him smile, though the sentiment evaporated with what reached his ears next.

“So,” Hak started. Sarcasm dripped from his voice, prickling like lemon juice on an open cut. “Seems you guys had a good talk last night.”

“We did have a conversation of sorts,” said Kija. “About us, and each other.”

“Did you use protection?”

Jae-Ha choked on his water.

 _"Hak!_ " Yona reached over and smacked him in the arm. As Jae-Ha coughed water out of his lungs, he looked over and Kija was red as a beet. There didn’t seem to be any easy way out of the discomfort hanging in the air, Hak’s triumphant smirk poking away at their dignity. Jae-Ha could see the gears turning in his head and prepared himself for another taunting remark.

But instead, the front door opened.

His heart stopped in motion as if a grenade had been thrown into the room. It was loud and it was panic, everyone reaching for the first thing they could get their hands on to defend themselves. Jae-Ha had left the bedroom with his knife in his pocket, and he stood and withdrew it, pushing Yona behind him as he ran to the door and pulled back his arm to slash.

“Ah, wait! Zeno’s alive, _Zeno’s a_ _live!”_

Just before his blade met skin, he paused. In front of him was a young man. Though he was dirty and his scraggly blond hair made him look worse for wear, he was very much a living person. He had his hands up, and as the seconds passed he stared at Jae-Ha as if asking him to put the knife down.

“Uh, hey mister?” he said. “You don’t have to worry, Zeno’s not gonna eat you.”

Jae-Ha lowered his knife and backed off. When he turned to the others, he was met with the sight of Hak with another knife from the kitchen, Yona with the baseball bat they’d left nearby, and Kija at the ready with his pistol. Relief wafted into the cabin when Jae-Ha looked to them, their muscles visibly relaxing as the threat dissipated. Though in the next second, another figure came up the porch and into the door, and all weapons were pointed once again.

“Wait, wait, wait! He’s alive too!” 

The blonde scrambled to shield his companion and everyone eased off again. This man was considerably taller, with blue hair and glasses. He didn’t say a word, simply observed the display before him.

The immediate danger had passed, but Jae-Ha did not put his knife away. Survivors in this world were unpredictable, and when monsters had infested the land like pests, his pride would not allow simple human beings to be his downfall. Or that of those he cared for.

“You’re both alive, but what are you doing here?” He pointed his knife again, ready for whatever may come. “What do you want from us?”

“Well, this is Zeno’s house!” The blond answered simply. He casually nudged the knife away and pranced into the kitchen. Warning sirens blared in Jae-Ha’s head but with his blade still pointed at nothing but empty air, he could not wrap his brain around what was happening. This kid’s easygoing nature made everything feel like some joke. Like at any moment a cameraman would walk in and announce that this was all just a prank TV show. But nothing about the way Jae-Ha had been living was fake.

In the corner of his eye, he saw something click in Yona’s head, and she ran toward the living room while the blond hummed some aimless tune. He was bobbing his head and skipping around like a child as he poured a bowl of dry cereal. On his first bite, he looked up to find the group in the cabin watching him with disbelief, his humming going quiet and his mouth opening like he’d forgotten something.

“Oh, right, Zeno’s _my_ name,” he said. “And that’s Seiryuu.”

The one with the blue hair spoke up, his voice soft and his sentences broken. “It’s Shin-Ah. Seiryuu is… a nickname.”

Yona came back around the corner then. She turned to the group with a frame in her hands. “He’s telling the truth, he’s the one in all the photos in the living room. He and this girl.”

Sure enough, the photo she held was one of Zeno, a bright smile across his face, and a girl with short black hair in his arms. They looked innocent, like any normal couple in any normal world. That world was gone, the happiness of an average life along with it. Even the light in Zeno’s eyes dimmed when he came over to see the picture.

“Ah, Kaya’s gone now,” he said. “But she lives on in Zeno’s heart. Now it’s just us.” He motioned to Shin-Ah, who gave a small nod.

Suddenly Jae-Ha could physically feel a weight sinking down on his shoulders. The image of Gigan flew across his eyes and tied his stomach into a knot. Kija had the same look on his face, that solemn familiarity with loss. Hak and Yona, too. A shared pain between all of them, between anyone left alive, leaving them with hollow space in their hearts that churned with every inhale. A feeling so wretched and helpless that he hadn’t realized silence had crawled into the room to fester until it was broken.

“Now that introductions are out of the way,” Zeno began, his voice regaining its sunshiny tone. “What are you folks doing in Zeno’s house?”

Kija stood and gave him a bow. “I’m terribly sorry, we didn’t mean to intrude. We thought it was abandoned and needed a place to stay for the night.”

“And with how well-supplied this place is with the water and everything, it was a perfect opportunity,” said Yona. “We even took showers for the first time in days.”

“Yeah,” Hak affirmed her statement but trailed off like he wasn’t quite listening anymore. He was chewing on his lip and Jae-Ha couldn’t quite decipher what was going on in that head of his. But before he or Yona could continue, Zeno’s eyes went wide.

“You took showers?” he asked, unease weaved into his brow. “Zeno has his own private water source so you’re fine, but don’t do that anywhere else. The infection can spread through water.”

At his warning, Yona set the picture down and held a hand over her mouth, and Kija took a step closer to Jae-Ha. Their hands brushed and with it came a shudder, a slew of gruesome “What if’s” flying past a mile a minute. _W_ _hat if_ they’d found a different house that still had running water? _What if_ they’d gone in to shower and didn’t come out human? _What if, what if what if._ Jae-Ha laced his fingers with Kija’s and squeezed. They were fortunate, unfathomably so.

“If the water’s so safe here, how do you know that?” Hak asked. His eyebrow was raised, a frown smeared over his face.

“Zeno’s been other places, mister.”

Shin-Ah cut in then, his faint voice startling. “You were staying… overnight… right? Where… were you headed?”

“We’re going to a safe haven in Fuuga, and we should be leaving soon so we can get there before nightfall,” Jae-Ha said. He turned to his companions, still holding Kija’s hand. “Let’s pack up. Does everyone have weapons?”

Hak shrugged with his kitchen knife. “I don’t have that pitchfork anymore.”

“I’ve got this bat, but you’d probably be better at using it, Hak,” said Yona, handing it over. “I don’t think I’d have a lot of swing strength.”

“Oh, I’ve got something, miss. Come with me!” Zeno set his cereal down and rushed out the front door. The others followed, curious, and watched as he opened up the doors to a storm cellar at the side of the house and climbed down. It was a few moments before he popped back out with his arms full.

“Here, pick your favorite!”

In his hands was an array of large, sheathed knives, each with a differently shaped blade and handle. Some curved and smooth, others rugged like shark teeth. Yona gasped at the sight.

“Are you sure we can take these?” she asked. “You’re not afraid that we’ll use them on you?”

“Meh, if you guys wanted to kill Zeno, you would’ve done it already.”

“Hold on.” Hak put himself between Yona and Zeno as she reached for a handle. “We’re really going along with this?”

“What do you mean?” Kija asked.

“Well, this kid in the forest not only has a house without a single zombie in sight, but electricity, the only uninfected running water around for miles, and a hidden stash of weapons in his backyard. Pretty tasty bait, if you ask me.”

Zeno went quiet, a strange expression making its home on his face, one that seemed so foreign that Jae-Ha couldn’t hope to read it. It twisted further when Hak roughly pushed past him and threw himself down the storm cellar, coming back up seconds later with items much more menacing than simple knives.

He stomped back to the others and dropped everything to the ground in front of them. Jae-Ha felt Kija’s hand flinch in his at the clattering noise and the aggression in Hak’s face. In the pile lay an axe, a sword, a crossbow, and another shotgun.

“Was there a weapon shop down the street, or were other survivors like us just _generous_ enough to give you all of their supplies?”

And then there came an expression that Jae-Ha _could_ read. It was subtle, almost undetectable, but achingly obvious in the lines of Zeno’s face and the heat in his eyes. It wasn’t quite anger, nor fear, but rather something sharper. Something that rigidly said, _"_ _S_ _top talking”_ , and its simplicity froze Jae-Ha’s veins.

“Maybe you missed the exit, mister.” His voice had lost its buoyant tone as he stood there in a staring match with Hak, who huffed with impatience and the need for answers. Meanwhile, the lack of anger from Zeno was almost more terrifying.

“With a cellar like that, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were storing more than just guns down there,” said Hak. “Maybe we’ll meet some friends if we take another peek.”

“Hak, _please_." Yona made her way over and took his hand. “You don’t know if he’s done anything wrong. Let’s just take some weapons and go, okay?”

Time stretched and ripped like a torn cloth, each second dragged on through mud. Not five had passed before Hak withdrew his hostility, but it may as well have been minutes. He picked the bat back up and walked off into the house, leaving the others in silence. In the end, Yona chose the crossbow, and Zeno gave her a full quiver and quick lesson on firing. 

Repacking their belongings into the van was a quiet process. Still tense, but hopeful, the promise of safety less than a day away. Optimism ribboned in the air and caught on Jae-Ha’s skin. It was warm and it was forgiving, like the clouds parting after a storm, or the sunrise glazing over an earth frozen from the night. Warm like a lover’s arms.

Warm as Jae-Ha shut the trunk and Kija was there to smile at him. Warmer still as he pulled Kija closer to stand nose-to-nose, forehead-to-forehead, to take in the life they’d started together and the one they’d hopefully be alive to see tomorrow. He imagined the days they’d have, and the days that could’ve been, had they met earlier—the midnight strolls and coffee dates that he so desperately wanted to share with him. Sitting on the couch at an ungodly hour, scarfing down pizza and watching bad movies. Cooking dinner together and talking about their frustrating workdays while they ate. The goodnight kisses and goodbye kisses. Kisses that became home, that eased his aching mind. That was what Jae-Ha wanted with Kija. And by god, whatever the safe haven turned out to be, that was what he was going to make it.

A quiet cough slipped Jae-Ha out of his daydreams. He turned from Kija’s embrace to see Shin-Ah, wringing his hands with his gaze cast downward.

“Yes?” Jae-Ha asked.

“I know you don’t know us… and you don’t trust Zeno, but could you… take us with you? We have water and power… but we won’t last much longer without more food… and we can’t hunt.”

Jae-Ha nodded. “You can’t guarantee that the animals aren’t infected.”

“Mhm.” Shin-Ah adjusted his glasses, finally making eye contact. “If you drove us to the safe haven, we wouldn’t… ask for anything more.”

A week ago, Jae-Ha would’ve said no. He’d have said that more people tagging along meant more risk, larger rings for the targets on their backs. But a week ago he was alone. A week ago he was trekking across the city with no one but his weapons to console him. He hadn’t met Kija, hadn’t seen for himself the strength and shelter that companionship offered. He was pushing himself so far just to survive that he wasn’t really _living_.

“It’d be a tight fit for the two of you, and I’m not sure how much Hak will like it, but I think we could fit you in the backseat,” said Jae-Ha. Kija smiled and squeezed his hand, and Jae-Ha’s heart blazed at the look of pride in his eyes. “But will Zeno come along? He seems pretty content here.”

“He won’t want to… he’s attached to this house. But he’ll go if I do.”

“Well, get yourself ready to go, Shin-Ah,” Kija said. “We’ll wait for you out here.”

Shin-Ah nodded and turned to head into the cabin, stopping after a few feet to face them again and bow. 

They gathered Yona and Hak and waited in front of the van. The faint buzz of insects in the trees hummed above their heads, pulsing to the beat of Hak’s foot tapping the dirt. Yona hung onto his arm as if keeping him grounded from thoughts he hadn’t acted on yet.

“It’s too easy,” he said. “There’s no way they got all of this stuff in the last week. They took it. And whoever they took it from is nowhere to be seen.”

“Hak, you don’t know that,” Yona said, gripping him tighter.

“Fine, don’t believe me. But when they knock us out from behind and run off with our stuff, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Finally, the peep of yellow and blue poked out from the cabin door. 

“Road trip!” Zeno skipped toward them with a bag slung over his shoulder. He wore an excited face, but Jae-Ha was the king of forced smiles, and he knew a mask when he saw one.

The little band of survivors piled into the car, but a whiff of something peculiar went up Jae-Ha’s nose before he could step in. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t noticed earlier, but the area outside the cabin smelled like… cleaning fluid? Bleach? It was a chemical scent that he couldn’t quite place as he opened the driver’s side door, but it flew out of his attention just as quickly as it had entered when Kija stopped him.

“You drove all day yesterday, I’ll take over.”

And really, Jae-Ha couldn’t help wanting to kiss him then and there, even with the others around. “Okay.”

So he jumped in the passenger’s side and peered into the backseat. Yona sat in the middle with Hak and Shin-Ah at her sides. It took Jae-Ha a moment to find Zeno, on the floor of the van between Shin-Ah’s legs, not much space between him and the front seat. Nevertheless, he gave Jae-Ha a thumbs up.

This was going to be interesting.

Kija turned the key and the van roared to life. “Everyone ready?”

A chorus of “yes’s” filled the small space and they were off. They found the sun above them in the clearing before turning back out into the mass of trees, keeping themselves on track to go eastward. Between the light chatter of the full van, the tires on the pavement, and the patches of sunlight blotting the dashboard, Jae-Ha fell under a wave of deja vu. Leaving the cabin in the distance, he remembered how just days ago, he and Kija had fled the comfort of a different house, empty seats and painful silence between them. But despite the uncertainty with their newest additions to the group, today was different. Today they had a destination, and allies to help them get there.

He poked Kija’s arm and held his hand out over the center console. Kija responded with a roll of his eyes, but a smile betrayed his feigned annoyance and he laced their fingers together, driving with one hand.

Jae-Ha had no idea what lay in store for them in Fuuga, but with Kija by his side, he was ready for anything.

* * *

“Zeno spies with his little eye, something… green!”

“Jae-Ha. It’s Jae-Ha.”

“Aw, how’d you guess so quickly, mister?”

Jae-Ha himself cut in to save Hak from responding. “Because I’m the only green thing around for miles. Shin-Ah, your turn.”

They were slicing over a highway, the monochrome gray of a cityscape surrounding them. Hardly anything but asphalt and concrete could be seen, the occasional glint of glass on the tall buildings ahead of them shimmering in the late-afternoon sun.

“I spy something… brown.”

The group fell into a watchful quiet and all but Kija studied the area for anything brown. Nothing apparent came into view within the next few seconds, signaling that they had probably passed it.

“What is it?”

“A squirrel.” Shin-Ah pointed to the highway barrier ahead and sure enough, a squirrel was perched on top of it, still a great many yards away. How he could see it clearly from such a far distance, Jae-Ha didn’t know.

“Aw, look at that little guy,” he said. “It’s so—”

As the van approached and they got a closer look, they saw its fur lay matted with blood, foam seeping from its mouth. One eye hung loosely out of its socket by a string and the creature leaned toward them and hissed as they passed.

“…much less cute than I thought it would be”

Suddenly the air weighed heavily on them like a blanket—a reminder of what lay between them and their goal, outside the safety of the van. Though the silence didn’t last long, for as Kija took them around a curve that dipped downhill, wreckage lay in wait.

At the bottom was a cluster of cars blocking the way. Each one dead and battered, torn into each other as if the drivers inside had collided and immediately run from the scene. Shattered glass and metal debris cluttered the road and a semi-truck lay skewed across the lanes on its side.

Kija got them close and braked in front of the display. The city was just ahead now—just another 20 minutes by car and they’d be in the heart of Fuuga. But fate appeared to have other plans.

“What now?” asked Yona.

Part of Jae-Ha wished he didn’t have to be honest, to say that they’d have to walk through a minefield to reach asylum. The mountains in the distance seemed to be caving in on them and Jae-Ha knew if they didn’t hurry, if they weren’t reckless, they wouldn’t make it before sundown. And the night was a deadly time to be in the open.

“We wing it,” he finally said.

“Do you guys… hear that?”

Shin-Ah’s airy voice cut through the van. The group went quiet, hearts battering like fists on a door to the sound of scratching outside. It was hushed but coarse enough to make Jae-Ha’s teeth hurt, his fingers to curl slightly. Like nails dragging on metal. He couldn’t tell where it was coming from.

Through the grating noise, he heard Kija gasp. He looked over to see panic across his face as he watched the rearview mirror.

“Behind us!”

And Kija set the van in reverse and hit the gas. The movement threw Jae-Ha’s body around in the seat, and he heard Yona yelp, but he gathered himself enough to look through the back windshield. A zombie clung to the back.

Kija tried to shake it loose, driving backward and then forward again, but it held tight to the windshield wiper and began slamming its fist on the glass.

The seconds passed in a disorienting flash of noise. The thing began screaming outside as it put cracks in the windshield and Hak rushed to cover Yona’s body with his.

“Kija, park!” said Jae-Ha. “I’ll get it!”

And a flurry of events buried them like a landslide. Kija braked and the momentum going forward sent the zombie’s fist through the glass. It grabbed Hak by the hair and pulled his face up as the shards rained down. Jae-Ha ran out the door with his knife, the growls and his companions’ frightened shrieks fighting a war in his ears, and seized the zombie by the shirt to slice its throat open.

It stumbled away with its head hanging loosely on its shoulders, still gripping Hak’s hair until it fell to the ground. Jae-Ha wanted to breathe. He wanted to calm his terrified pulse before the next disaster.

But people hardly ever get what they want, do they?

Jae-Ha knew that. Knew it as the trailer of the toppled semi-truck began to rattle. Knew it as he cried to the others to grab their weapons. He knew he would not get what he wanted, not now, not as that unsteady trailer door exploded open to flood the undead into the street.

How many had come out? Ten? Fifteen? It didn’t matter. What mattered was that they were running right at him and he needed to buy time for the others to get out and help.

Two got to him at once and he slashed, both of them collapsing to the asphalt. A hand grabbed him between his shoulder and neck and he turned to see another, with jagged teeth and half its jaw missing. He stumbled, keeping it away with his spare hand on its throat while he tried to kill it. There was another from behind banging at the van. Another coming from the front. He felt blind with those teeth in his face, nothing around him could register in his mind except the dread of his skin being torn open.

His knife ripped through flesh again and again as he tried to slit its throat. But he didn’t have room to cut deep and the zombie sure as hell wouldn’t give it to him. How much longer until it would die? It was like it didn’t feel pain, just kept pushing him back as it bled brown sludge onto his clothes. Though it must’ve gotten a hint, for on the next swipe of Jae-Ha’s knife, it smacked his wrist and the blade fell.

There were gunshots now. Though he wasn’t sure from who and he didn’t have time to find out. The creature in front of him had gotten another bright idea, and before Jae-Ha could make another move, he was pulled to the right and slammed into the side of the van.

Steel rattled his skull and he was being pushed again, this time downward as his vision went black. He couldn’t hear anything but a harsh ringing and the muffled shots in the distance. As his spotted eyesight returned, he realized he was in the empty van, laid down across the backseat with the zombie over him. What could he use to defend with? His legs were trapped but his eyes found the blanket on the floor and he reached for it, bracing it up between him and the thing’s mouth. It pushed as hard as it could against his grip and Jae-Ha knew that the outline of its face through the fabric, staining it red and brown with those teeth, would return in his nightmares.

Through the shrieks of the dead and the ringing in his ears, he heard one more shot, this one close, and the zombie on top of him stopped fighting. It was pulled backward and tossed aside, and Kija stood there with the shotgun.

He reached for Jae-Ha’s hand and helped him sit up. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” said Jae-Ha, finally catching his breath. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Relief swept over him like a fresh breeze, but when he looked up to Kija, anger laid in the lines of his face. The stars in his eyes were exploding, flaring and lashing at the brittle strings of Jae-Ha’s heart. A clattering sound came then as Kija dropped the shotgun and threw himself into the backseat, wrapping his arms around Jae-Ha like there wasn’t another thought on his mind.

“You scared me, you idiot!”

It shouldn’t have been as startling as it was, Kija’s frightened voice and tight hold, but it took Jae-Ha a few seconds to return the embrace. His head was pounding and he absently wondered if he had a concussion. Though disoriented as he was, he allowed the waves of Kija’s warmth to carry him back to safety, as they always did.

“You’re getting better with the shotgun,” he teased.

Kija shook his head against his neck. “You always try to do everything by yourself, leave things to us every once in a while!”

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to protect you guys.” And it had worked, hadn’t it? Here Kija was, safe in his arms, the others all unharmed and watching them from outside. He really couldn’t complain, then. If he was too daring for this world, his nature too foolhardy, then at least his companions would all live to see the morning.

“You don’t always need to be a leader, we’ve got you.” Kija paused, then squeezed him tighter. " _I've_ got you”

Just like that, Jae-Ha’s heart melted and lava pooled in its place. As it had last night when they’d kissed in the dim light of the cabin; when Jae-Ha had found all the comfort he would ever need and more in the heat of Kija’s body. His senses were coming back, slowly but surely, and he pulled away from Kija’s arms to press his lips to his forehead. Kija responded with a smile and a kiss of his own, holding his face as they closed their eyes and sank into each other, for just a moment. He was still smiling when they pulled apart and he tucked a stray lock of hair behind Jae-Ha’s ear. Though his fingers touched something wet and his face turned sour.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Oh,” Jae-Ha sighed and reached up. Indeed, the spot where he’d connected with the van before was trailing blood down the side of his head. “Our dead friend over there pushed me quite hard.”

He wanted to kiss away the frown that spread over Kija’s mouth, give an _I’ll be fine_ with his famous grin but he knew Kija wouldn’t let him pretend. Not anymore. So he let him dig through the trunk for a first aid kit and get to work cleaning him up. That determination in his eyes that Jae-Ha had grown so fond of was there, but Kija still seemed shaken at the amount of blood dribbling out and looked unsure of what to do.

His fingers carefully parted Jae-Ha’s hair but he froze there with a bandage roll in his hand and Jae-Ha stopped paying attention. The sun coming in through the broken windshield was just a little too bright, the others’ voices just a little too loud. Sharp pain brought him back as Kija pressed down on the wound to ease the bleeding while Hak crouched next to him, giving rough explanations on what he should be doing.

“Hold the gauze there for as long as you can, then we’ll wrap him up,” he said. They stayed there for several minutes while the others readied themselves as much as possible, having some last quick snacks from the trunk and reloading ammo. Once the bleeding had mostly stopped, Kija rolled the bandage around his head and helped ease him out of the van.

“What’s the plan?” Hak leaned against the open door and gestured with the baseball bat toward the mass of cars blocking their way. He made a face when Zeno silently hopped over to him and handed him his axe, trading the bat with a huff.

“We get to the safe haven by nightfall,” Jae-Ha said. “Preferably not die in the process.”

Kija stood to face the group, his chest puffed out and conviction in his jaw, like a captain leading his troops into battle, and Jae-Ha couldn’t help watching the strong lines of his back from behind. He’d really grown since they’d met, hadn’t he? And Jae-Ha adored the man he’d become.

“We’ll move as a huddle. Hak, Shin-Ah, you two have close-range weapons so you’ll be at the front. Yona and Zeno, stay in the middle. Jae-Ha and I will take the back. We stay close and we avoid confrontation, which means we make as little noise as possible. We’re a team, and we’ll get through this together.”

“Ooh, a team! We should have a team name, right, Seiryuu?” said Zeno.

Shin-Ah nodded, fiddling with the handle of his sword.

“How about…” Yona started. She put a finger to her chin, though had to shift her weight with the heavy crossbow in her other hand. “The Happy Hungry Bunch?”

“Happy Hungry Bunch!” Zeno threw his arms up and hugged Shin-Ah and Yona from between them.

Kija bristled and gave a harsh whisper. “Hey, what did I just say about being quiet?”

Laughter bubbled out from Jae-Ha’s chest, in spite of his aching head. And really, who could blame him? Kija, apparently, who whisper-scolded him as well. But the little band of misfits in front of him eased the fear, the doubt that had been fogging his mind since they’d arrived at the city’s edge.

“Alright, team,” he said. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

It was an eerie thing, sneaking down the streets of Fuuga, the sun casting menacing pools of orange down to sink into the very soil of the city. Shadows stretched tall across the ground and the walls of broken, abandoned buildings. A once-bustling and lively place now lay dead and cold, and Jae-Ha felt himself a ghost floating through a graveyard.

Around every corner, at every intersection, waited hordes of hungry monsters. And somehow, they seemed different to Jae-Ha than they did just days ago. They didn’t simply bumble around aimlessly, almost blindly, like before. They seemed more alert now, like they were looking for something. He hoped it wasn’t food.

Hak led them through an alleyway where the deadly light couldn’t reach and peeked out into the street. There were six of them ahead.

They huddled in the shadow so their voices wouldn’t reach rotting ears, and Kija was the first to murmur. “There’s no way around without being seen.”

“And if those guys start screaming, we’re in real trouble,” said Jae-Ha. They couldn’t get close, they needed to take them out quietly from afar. As Jae-Ha sorted through their options, his eyes landed on Yona’s crossbow, and he wasn’t the only one to form the beginnings of a plan.

“I’ll do it,” Yona said as if acting out his thoughts. “I’ll take them down.”

Hak straightened and it was obvious he’d suppressed the urge to shout. “No. No, princess, you are _not_ doing that.”

“Do you have any better ideas?” Despite his large stature, she easily pinned him down with her eyes, and even in the shade, her hair glowed and threatened to sweep him up in wildfire. Even Jae-Ha was not immune to her blazing eyes. Suddenly he was reminded of another, equally fierce woman, and the idea came to mind that Gigan would have been fond of this girl that looked like a flame.

A fire escape hung at the wall beside them, and one by one, they lifted themselves up to climb it. The edge hovered several feet above the ground and Zeno and Yona each needed a boost to pull themselves up. Once Jae-Ha’s turn had come, Kija reached down for his hand to help him. But his other hand lost purchase in the metal grates of the platform and his fingers slipped off, and a resounding, metallic echo rang through the alley. Everyone froze while Jae-Ha’s feet dangled in the air and Kija tried to keep him steady. Thick waves of anxiety wafted between the buildings, like gas that made his head feel heavy, a sting that he could almost taste. He hadn’t noticed that he’d clamped his eyes shut, but when he looked up, Shin-Ah was covering everyone from view of the street outside, his bulky jacket held up like a shield.

The seconds passed and there were a few confused grunts from afar, but none of the zombies had noticed their presence. Kija pulled him the rest of the way up and they were in the clear. Though Jae-Ha was dizzy and his bandages felt loose.

But he didn’t have the time nor the opportunity to be feeling dazed, for Yona was lining up her first shot.

She let her arrow loose and it flew straight into a brain. The hit seemed to surprise even her, and Jae-Ha glanced over to see Hak staring with his mouth open. Yona reached into her quiver for another and released it, but beginner’s luck seemed to play a factor in her first shot and it landed in a zombie’s foot. The thing spun around in confusion but did not take notice of where they hid. After a moment, she shot again, getting its neck this time.

Optimism sheathed them as it fell, only four more to go. Though Jae-Ha got an odd cold feeling that raised the hair on the back of his neck. Like he was being watched. In his periphery, Zeno’s fluffy hair trembled as he turned around and flinched.

“Guys, get back!”

Jae-Ha turned as well to see a zombie sneaking up to the fire escape. It grabbed the metal harshly, sending another echo out into the street, and it screamed.

The group dashed up higher, scrambling up the zig-zagging ladders as the zombies in the street came sprinting. Jae-Ha looked around at the windows they passed. All of them were broken, climbing in wouldn’t provide any protection. All except for one at the very top.

“Up there!”

He pointed and the others followed to the sound of hungry monsters on their tail. Hak was the first to reach it and he pulled, but nothing happened. The window wouldn’t budge, locked from the inside, and there wasn’t much time until the zombies reached them. There was panic and Jae-Ha felt pain behind his eyes that spread through his head. But then there was a hand reaching at his belt and a mess of golden hair running back down the steps.

“Sorry, Zeno’s going to borrow this!”

He held Jae-Ha’s pistol and aimed. Though he wasn’t aiming at the creatures lurching toward him, and it took Jae-Ha a moment to realize that he was instead pointing at the worn bolts of the next ladder below. Two shots, two bullets ricocheting off the steel and nearly hitting him, but still two shots that broke the bolt loose.

“Mister, use the axe to break the window!”

And something in Hak’s eyes shifted. He looked at Zeno with the face of a bystander watching someone trapped in a burning building, a man rendered helpless by the cloud of smoke he knew the victim had no choice but to breathe. So he nodded, and with the strength of a bull, pulled the axe back and smashed the window.

They piled through the opening, ducking around the jagged pieces threatening to slice at their skin. Jae-Ha pushed Kija through and looked back at the sound of more shots. Zeno has shot one zombie in the head as it came closer, then got to the second bolt. One shot, two shots, nothing. A third, and blood skipped across the metal as it grazed Zeno’s leg. Jae-Ha went back down a step, readying himself to pull him back up to safety. A fourth and the bolt broke apart. 

The ladder now hung loose on the platform and Zeno shoved it forward. Shrieks erupted as the creatures climbing it fell to the pavement and Jae-Ha grabbed Zeno by the hood. He threw him into the window and stepped in after him, and for the time being, they were safe.

But with the howling outside, Jae-Ha knew it wouldn’t last for long.

“We made a lot of noise…” Yona said, her voice turning shaky as she spoke.

“Yeah, but we would’ve been screwed had Zeno not done that,” said Jae-Ha. He put a hand to his temple as the other braced on the wall. “If we’d just shot the zombies that were chasing us, more would still be able to climb up to the window. With the ladder disconnected, we at least have some time now—”

And he fell against the wall.

Kija rushed over and took his arm. “Jae-Ha! Are you okay?”

A warm trickle went down his neck and Jae-Ha knew he was bleeding again, though he felt more than heard his own response as something cut him off. Something high-pitched, but not the familiar screech of the zombies.

_“What are you all doing in here?”_

He turned, and standing in the hallway ahead was a kid—a teenager, he presumed—holding up the tank cover of a toilet in a ready-to-swing stance.

“A kid?” asked Hak.

“She’s got a weapon…” said Shin-Ah.

“I’m a _boy!_ " the kid scolded, hushed enough not to be heard outside but stern enough to startle the group. His eyes darted to the glass across the carpet. “Who are you and why did you break through my fucking window?”

“Language, young one.” Jae-Ha took in a sharp breath just as his last meal surged up his throat and nearly spilled out. He swallowed it down and coughed, the taste of bile putrid on his tongue. Kija rubbed his back and pushed the hair from his eyes.

The kid’s face abruptly changed and he lowered the tank cover, taking a step closer. “He’s hurt?”

Through Jae-Ha’s blurred vision, he saw Kija nod. “We were being chased. I’m sorry for barging in, we’ve probably put you in danger, as well.”

“Why is it that every time I break into an abandoned house, someone still lives there?” He’d hoped the joke would lighten the mood, make people stop worrying about him, but Jae-Ha heard no laughter. Not so much as a giggle. Instead, the feathery sound of porcelain being set down onto carpet reached his ears, and two more hands were upon his face.

“The name’s Yoon,” said the kid. “I’m a doctor. Well, I was going to be.” He pulled at Jae-Ha’s bandages, trying to get a closer look at the wound. Little jolts of pain accompanied the fingers at the edges of Jae-Ha’s ripped skin and he reached for the comfort of Kija’s hand.

“Looks like blunt force trauma. I can give him new bandages but he’s gonna keep bleeding unless I give him stitches. Who patched him up before?”

“I did,” said Kija.

“Don’t do it again.” Yoon dropped his hands and shuffled through his pockets as Kija went red in the face. “They’re way too loose, probably didn’t help him much. Hold this on until I get back.”

He handed over a small cloth and left for the hallway. Kija held pressure on the wound with it until he returned a minute later, with fresh bandages, a needle and thread, and gloves. Sitting himself down with an alcohol wipe to sanitize the needle, Yoon got to work stitching.

"This is gonna hurt, just so you know."

And that really wasn't an overstatement. The tug of the needle stung and he tried not to jerk his head away. But the reassurance of Kija’s fingers stayed with him, his thumb rubbing soft circles into Jae-Ha’s hand, and his mind rose up above the deafening water enough to hear the chatter across the small living room.

Hak’s voice came first, hesitant, unlike Jae-Ha had ever heard it before. “Zeno, you alright?”

“Oh yeah, it’ll be fine. Zeno’s pretty resilient!”

“Listen, I…” There was a pause, then a grumble and Jae-Ha glanced up enough to see Hak rubbing his neck and looking down at the blood on Zeno’s leg.

“Thank you,” he finally said. “And I'm sorry.”

And time seemed to waver as if every clock on earth would simply stop or run the hands off the tracks. There wasn’t an answer right away and Jae-Ha could almost hear the seconds tick by in distortion. But then Zeno’s face lit up, like the sun stepping out from the shadow of the moon in an eclipse, and he painted the room gold with his smile.

“You’re welcome, mister.”

After Yoon finished the stitches and skillfully patched Jae-Ha back together, he moved over to Zeno to wrap up the gash from the bullet.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, lad. ‘Tis only a flesh wound!”

“Okay, be quiet and let me do this or it could get infected. By more than just zombies.”

Once he’d finished, he looked up and seemed to falter at the number of eyes staring at him, taking a few steps back and clearing his throat. 

“So, what brings you folks to the deadliest spot in the region?” He asked slowly. 

“We’re going to a safe haven, we’ve heard it’s somewhere here in Fuuga,” said Yona. “Do you know where it is?”

Before he could answer, a shriek rattled the air from below the shattered window, a few further away responding with their own cries, like a pack of wolves howling to each other under the guiding light of the moon.

“I do,” said Yoon. “But you have to get through some dangerous territory to get there. A friend of mine tried to reach it on his own and… I don’t know if he made it.”

“You didn’t go with him?” Jae-Ha asked. 

Yoon shook his head. “Ik-Soo was kind to a stupid degree, he wasn’t a fighter. And I don’t know if you can tell by looking at me,” he gestured vaguely at himself. “But I’m not exactly a skilled warrior, either. I was too scared. I’m not cut out for that sort of danger, I’m a healer.”

“Sounds like something… we could use,” said Shin-Ah.

There was a pause, a flash of confusion in Yoon’s eyes that melded into unease.

Jae-Ha tried to ease the mood. “That’s true. I mean, you saw the way my dear Kija took care of my head.”

“Wha—Jae-Ha, you… you hush.” Kija smacked his arm but the touch was like a feather, taking obvious care in his hands not to hurt him.

There were giggles all around the room before it fell softly into quiet. No one was quite sure what to add. That is until Hak perked up like a dog.

“Do you have a car?”

“Ik-Soo did, it’s in the parking lot. Why?”

Hak grinned. “I think I know a way to the safe haven.”

* * *

“YOU ARE OFFICIALLY THE ABSOLUTE WORST PEOPLE!”

Yoon’s cries rang unacknowledged through the small car as it sped madly through the street. With the low ceiling and tiny back seats, it made for an even tighter fit than the van. And the shaking definitely didn’t help. Indeed, the shaking made it much worse.

“I hate this, _I hate all of you!_ " Yoon yelped between bumps in the road that vibrated them in their seats. “Why did I agree to this? Just take me back home!”

Jae-Ha nodded and leaned his head forward. “I think I’m gonna be sick again.”

“I’ve been wanting to try this since you two idiots saved me and Princess,” said Hak. “We have to be fast or we’ll end up with unwanted company.” He gripped the steering wheel with a smile, driving as if he were playing an arcade game and the goal was to hit as many objects as possible. He struck zombie after zombie with gusto and weaved between the run-down cars on the street without so much as touching the brake pedal.

Their seating arrangement didn’t make things easier, either. Shin-Ah, one of the bigger men present, took the passenger’s seat to save room in the back. Though Jae-Ha was even bigger than him and was confined to the backseat for his injury. Kija sat on the other side with Yoon squeezed between them—a live GPS who knew the way—and Zeno and Yona crouched on the floor as the last two smallest of the group. Ik-Soo’s little car was fast but loud, and groups of infected ran at them from the buildings at their sides. Ahead came an intersection filled with them.

“Which way?”

“Right!” Yoon answered and the hard turn threw him against Kija’s side. More bumps and _wham's_ against the front, and though Jae-Ha wasn’t dizzy from his wound anymore, Hak’s driving proved to be more than able to make up for it. But once he looked up again through the bloodied glass on the front, he felt his heart drop and then kickstart like a worn machine whirring back to life.

Up ahead, past the raging zombies and mangled boulevard, was a wall. It stood as an equal to the towering buildings around it, still blocks away but high and proud—a shield against the hellish storm of death outside. Light spilling into a tomb.

“Is that it?” Kija spoke his thoughts for him, marveling at the sight.

“That’s it, but I don’t know where the entrance is,” said Yoon.

Hak smiled. “Guess we find out, then!”

He took another sharp turn as they approached the wall and the car drifted to the left, speeding alongside the edge. 

“Hak, please don’t hit anything!” Yona shouted, holding onto the roof handle for dear life.

And while the others’ cries fell on deaf ears, hers seemed to convince him. He slowed down a tad to swerve around a dead car in the road, then another, and though it saved them from crashing, the deceleration allowed a hand to grasp the side mirror.

Hak pressed the gas again and it fell away, taking the mirror with it. But another creature in front of them flung itself up and on top of the hood with a hard, jarring _thunk_. Its grotesque figure covered the front windshield as Hak steered blindly, trying to shake it off.

An instinct, that pesky, protective side of Jae-Ha’s brain told him to keep everyone in place. For sooner or later the car would unwillingly connect with something and Jae-ha could only hope it wouldn’t be concrete. He braced his leg out over Zeno’s torso as he sat on the floor in front of him, like a makeshift seatbelt, and stretched his opposite arm across Yoon and Kija to brace them there. Kija seemed to have a similar idea and reached forward to hold Yona steady.

The zombie on the front brought its fists down again and again and the blood from its hands smeared the windshield further, like an abstract painting from the damned. It raised itself up, ready to pound again and Jae-Ha tightened his hold on the others. But instead of the sound of glass cracking like ice, the car collided with another. The zombie was thrown forward over them, bouncing off the back end and toppling to the road. Jae-Ha tensed at the impact and the sudden alarm blaring from the car they’d hit, and he could feel the others holding onto him tight as he blocked them from being thrust forward. 

But then it was over. Their second chance, their new car had a freshly-crushed front end and more zombies were closing in by the second. He heard Hak trying to switch gears, the shifting distant in his ears.

“It won’t reverse, we’re stuck.”

“Then let’s move!” Jae-Ha took his shotgun and stepped out, rushing the others out the door. He pushed them forward, one at a time until Kija was the last one out, and he took his hand and ran.

The others had a small head start and when Jae-Ha looked back, there was a horde behind them. Fifty, seventy, he couldn't tell. Enough to know without a cloud of doubt that it’d be suicide to stop running now. He willed his feet to move faster, to push harder against the asphalt. He felt the blood rushing from his head to his legs and— _run, god, keep running_ —for a moment, he forgot about his hands.

And the fingers in his slipped away.

Just a millisecond, just a fraction of a moment passed before he could will himself to stop. But that sliver of time, thin as a strand of hair, left Kija alone. Jae-Ha turned back and his love was on the ground, his face smudged with dirt. He ran back and stretched his hand toward him, but his wasn’t the one that reached Kija first.

Jae-Ha watched with a sheer, unbridled terror as a demon with one arm dragged Kija across the ground by his ankle. Kija was kicking, screaming, and Jae-Ha lifted his gun through the sound. A sound he’d never wanted to hear again, louder in his head than the shot from the barrel, as one bullet, then another burst through the zombie’s skull.

He pulled Kija upright and urged him forward. This time, he would not let go. He wouldn’t ever let Kija go. He would squeeze his hand now as they ran from death, as the only thing that kept them alive was their bond and their trust. He would squeeze his hand tomorrow when they huddled together in safety behind those walls, on walks through the park, and on fancy dates. Under the burning sun and in the gentle snow. He would squeeze Kija’s hand forever.

The others had slowed down a tad to wait for them, Zeno shooting with the pistol and Yona with her crossbow. Once they’d caught up, everyone took off in a cluster. The short were pulled along by the tall: Jae-Ha running with Yoon, Shin-Ah with Zeno, and Hak with Yona. They moved as one through the chaos, through the carnage and the messy hope, their hearts scraping and carving hurried lashes into their ribs. Jae-ha wasn’t sure how long he could go, how much his poor heart could take, but if it was to protect them then he would run until it stopped.

But hope was sweet on his tongue and it seemed he wouldn't need to.

They turned a corner and just there, just ahead, was a split in the wall. A spot where tall metal plates would retract and lead them to refuge. A door.

Though it would seem they weren’t alone. Small clusters of eager zombies lay in wait in front of the entrance and dashed at them like mad. The swing of Hak’s axe was heavy and rough as it tore down a monster’s neck, in stark contrast to Shin-Ah, whose sword cut cleanly through decaying flesh. They took the front as living armor and charged through, forging a path while Jae-Ha led them to the door. Finally, they reached it. Salvation.

That first brush of his fingers against the metal was a relief like none he’d ever felt before. It welled up in his chest and his first thought was to get Kija through it, safe on the other side. Then, slowly, as the last of the red sun drained down to the bottom of the earth, the tide came in. Waves of uncertainty, rising and lapping at his feet, washing away his bliss in time with the darkening sky.

_How did it open?_

He banged his fist on it a few times, then pulled at the panels to pry them apart. There was no answer. It wouldn’t budge.

“Jae-Ha,” Kija grabbed his arm and nodded back toward where they’d come from. The horde was getting closer.

The pair stood shoulder-to-shoulder and aimed their shotguns into the crowd. Yona and Zeno joined them as Hak and Shin-Ah took down stragglers from the other direction. Once the shots from Jae-Ha’s gun came to a stop and he reloaded, he saw Yoon, cowering with his back to the door.

“It’ll be okay, kid!” He hoped there was truth to the sentiment. “Get the door open!”

Yoon gave a shaky nod and pulled with all his might, and clangs against metal mixed with Jae-Ha’s shots as he pleaded with whoever might be on the other side.

“Please!” Yoon slammed his palm against the door. “Please help us! Let us in!”

Jae-Ha felt his legs wobble. Was this a dead end? Had they come all this way, gone through so much, only to fall right before the gates of heaven? Jae-Ha supposed as he sent bullets through brains, that perhaps he didn’t deserve entry. He’d never been a saint, and if there were such a thing as heaven, Jae-Ha was sure he would instead be headed down.

But Kija deserved to get in. Kija deserved heaven and then some. And though Jae-Ha didn’t know them well, he knew everyone else did, too. They were nothing more than human, having taken on more than a lifetime’s worth of trauma and bloodshed in just one week. And they remained strong throughout.

He wouldn’t let them die here. Not a single one of them.

He aimed again just as a fist grabbed hold of his hair and pulled him sideways. Blindly, he thrust his elbow back to strike but the movement was unnecessary, and the zombie fell backward with a hole in its head.

Kija was there, like he always was, gracing him with a smile. “I’ve got you.”

Jae-Ha smiled back and the eruption in his heart kept him moving. But the horde was closing in a circle around them and there came more risk every second. Yoon was still crying out, still banging on the metal and trying to pull the doors open. A little more hope washed away when Yona stepped back.

“I’m out of arrows,” she said.

Not ten seconds passed before Zeno followed with his pistol. “No more bullets.”

Jae-Ha reached for his ammo pouch but it too was empty. All they had left was whatever remained in both his and Kija’s shotguns. Then it was close-range for all of them.

And Jae-Ha didn’t have to wait long, for five shots later, he was out.

“Get back!” he said. 

Jae-Ha took out his knife and went to slashing as Yona and Zeno began helping with the door. He pushed against the wall of bodies, kicking and shoving as he sliced through flesh. A glance to the side and he could see Hak still going strong as if his battery didn’t ever run low. Though he supposed it couldn’t afford to. They each had something to protect, after all.

He guessed Kija had run out of ammo as well. The man had gotten a hold of the baseball bat and whipped through the crowd as fiercely as he could. His was an energy that Jae-Ha would always be astounded by.

But there was a moment then, a change in the earth’s rotation as the moon slid up into the sky, that pulsed through Jae-Ha’s whole body. The zombies began moving around him and toward the door.

His feet moved on their own and he ran for Yoon and the others. There were screams before he cut through the creatures and threw them to the ground, and Yoon looked up at him with tears rolling down his cheeks.

“It’s alright, just keep trying!” Jae-Ha said. He turned and just there was another, inches from his face. Throwing up his leg, he pushed it away enough to buy time to make the kill, slashing its head clean off. Just then, he heard wood clattering to the pavement.

Kija had lost his bat.

By the time he looked over, all he could see was a tuft of white on the ground, under another beastly frame. He heard a scream and only recognized it as his own by the way his voice shredded through his throat like a blade, the one in his hand dull in comparison. His fingers stretched out in front of him, toward that icy white that kindled his soul into a flame, the ocean blue that he couldn’t bear to never swim in again. The stars that filled his sky. And his vision went dark as something fell on top of him.

His hands scraped against the road. The moon was up now but Jae-Ha couldn’t see past the shuffling of feet in front of him or the body that landed over his back. His knife had clattered off to the side somewhere and he turned his head just in time to see teeth and bloody drips of saliva lunging toward his skin.

Jae-Ha flipped himself over to dodge the bite and pushed against his attacker. This couldn’t be the end. The world wouldn’t let him go like this, would it?

But it would. It would because life was cruel and his reality even more so; it was crooked and sharp and merciless, as it always had been. He was going to die.

Through the mass of creatures around, he could just barely still see the glow of Kija’s hair, silver against the waves of red and brown and midnight black. Perhaps if that glow was the last thing he ever saw, the end wouldn’t be so bad.

Fantasies that felt more like memories played like a video recording in his mind, places he wanted to go and moments he wanted to make, all with Kija by his side. In another life, maybe he could have them for real. He took a breath.

And the clash of metal burst through the air as the door to the safe haven opened.

Immediately, Jae-Ha’s ears were overwhelmed by the sound of gunfire. It came in fast and brutal, and he could only guess that they had to be machine guns. The zombie over him, in a confused and agitated state, turned to the noise only to be hit as soon as it sat up. Jae-Ha’s head was spinning. He was frozen in place but a single thought ripped through him more urgently than any thought ever had. _Where was Kija? What happened to Kija?_

There came no answer, but in a moment there was another silhouette looming over him, a hand held out for him to take.

“Come with me!” the figure said.

Jae-Ha took it and was pulled to his feet. That gloved hand moved to push his back forward somewhere, but Jae-Ha couldn’t tell where until he saw light streaming out through the metal doors. He was being guided inside.

A line of what looked like soldiers guarded the entrance, each wearing helmets, thick padding, and vests. They held guns larger than a good portion of Jae-Ha’s own body and parted to let him through. On the other side were Yona, Zeno, and Yoon, all holding each other in a huddle. Jae-Ha ran over and threw his arms around them.

“You guys okay?” he asked.

Yona nodded, her eyes puffy and red as her hair. “We’re all okay. Are you?”

“I’m fine.” Jae-Ha pulled away to look at them and their surroundings. They were in a small tunnel, more heavy doors opposite of where they came in that likely led into the heart of the safe haven. Fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, the sound nostalgic of every old, cozy apartment building he’d ever been in. Yoon sniffled then and he noticed that his tears were still falling like little raindrops between hiccuped sobs. He gave a smile and softly ruffled the boy’s hair. “You did great, kid.”

“Mhm,” was all Yoon seemed able to get out at the moment, but he turned toward the touch. Jae-Ha looked back then at the entrance just as one of the guards approached him.

“Sorry, sir, but we have to check you over for bites before we can let you in further.”

Jae-ha blinked. “Oh, sure.” He let the guard pat him down, turning and lifting his arms as he was instructed. But his gaze remained fixed on the entrance.

“Are they bringing in the others?”

The guard nodded behind his helmet. “Anyone they can find who’s still alive, they’ll bring in. Don’t worry.”

Just as he finished the sentence, the line at the doors parted again and in came a peek of blue.

Zeno bounced up to his feet. “Seiryuu!” The ball of sunlight sprinted over with his arms in the air and gave Shin-Ah the biggest hug he’d ever seen.

“Hang on, we need to check him over first!” the guard inspecting Jae-Ha followed with visible distress, even with his face obscured. With that, Jae-Ha supposed he was good to go, but still, he waited. And he knew Yona was waiting, too.

“They’ll be okay,” he heard her say, almost as if she were trying to convince herself. “They’ve got to be okay.”

“Right.”

The line parted once more and in came Hak, his hair mussed and shirt bloody. He looked up toward Yona, and the moment they made eye contact, they ran at each other.

Jae-Ha watched them hold each other and the air in his lungs wrung out. He watched how Hak ran his fingers through Yona’s hair, how they laughed in relief at each other’s presence. He watched Yona lean in and kiss him.

And a fear unlike any he’d ever felt strangled his heart.

As the guard hurriedly pulled them apart to give Hak a frustrated examination, Jae-Ha stood and moved closer to the doors. His hands and feet felt numb, his skin burned under his clothes. Kija should be right here in his arms, just like the others. He should be alive and happy, he should be smiling, and _gods_ , all Jae-Ha wanted was to see that smile. Those perfect lips curled up in such a lovely expression that Jae-Ha wished he could kiss endlessly, those eyes that sparkled like starlight even in the darkest of nights.

He ached with his every drop of blood as silence swept over the group. He tingled with warmth as the guards parted one last time. He caught on fire as Kija walked through.

There was no stopping him. Not a thing in the world could keep him from kissing Kija right then and there until his lips fell off. He couldn’t wait, really, how _could_ he? Kija looked at him then, his eyes explosively blue even from a distance, and Jae-Ha ran to lose himself in them.

He wrapped his arms around Kija’s waist and lifted him up. Kija held him tight, fitting into his embrace like the perfect puzzle piece. Jae-Ha felt him kiss his cheek, his jaw, his temple, and he felt so very full of love that he wasn’t sure he could ever have been made of anything else. He spun Kija around in the air before pulling back to look at him. Their lips were drawn to each other and like magnets, they collided, a force so instinctive that neither of them could have hoped to resist. Jae-Ha fell into Kija’s heart as he fell to gravity; it was simply the natural law and he had no desire to change it.

Slowly, he set his lover down, only because that guard was yelling at them. But they continued to stare and giggle like lovestruck children as Kija got checked over. And now that they were safe inside, nothing would keep them apart ever again.

“The whole bunch is here!” said Zeno.

“Yeah, thanks to me,” Yoon crossed his arms. “You bunch of circus freaks would never have made it without my beautiful face guiding you.”

Hak leaned close to his face. “But you’re still crying.”

“I am not!”

“Hak, don’t tease him,” said Yona. “We’re finally here, we should be celebrating!”

Jae-ha grinned. “Oh? Seems like you two already had a celebration of sorts.”

He couldn’t help the warmth rising in his chest as Yona’s cheeks flushed and Hak let out an awkward cough. Kija gave him a puzzled expression but made no comment, simply nuzzled himself further into Jae-Ha’s arms.

“We… get to live here safely now,” Shin-Ah said, and for the first time, Jae-ha saw a smile spread across his face.

“Well, let’s go!” Kija took his hand and led the way through the doors to the haven. Bright light greeted them as they came in, and as Jae-Ha pulled Kija close to marvel at the sight together, he knew they’d be okay. He’d found a life worth risking everything for, and now, he was finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it!! Thank you so much for reading, I'm so glad I've been able to entertain you all with this story that really wasn't going to be all that long when I first conceptualized it. It's taken me longer than expected to finish, but I probably would've dropped this fic and moved on to something else if it had not been for you guys and your endless support!! Each and every one of your comments has meant the world to me and I'm over the moon that I was able to make you guys happy through my writing.
> 
> Regarding the announcement... I'm writing a sequel!! It will take place after some time has passed in the safe haven, and we'll catch up with what our favorite bunch has been up to! 'Til Death has been focused mostly on characters and emotions, and while the sequel will have LOTS of emotion, it'll also have a lot more story and plot elements. There will be a lot of focus on the zombies themselves and you might learn a bit about where they came from 👀 I've set the stage for some of its moments in the last few chapters here, so feel free to theorize if you want! I can't really say yet when I'll start posting it (we all know how off I can be with deadlines...) but I have already started writing and plotting it out. Maybe in the next month or two 🤷 It'll be called "When The Clouds Part" so keep a look out if you're interested! Although, I will give a content warning for this sequel. It's going to have some intensely dark and gory moments and while I haven't really held back my punches with 'Til Death's violence, I still think it's worth warning everyone because it will have a much more gruesome and angsty tone for some of the story. So if that kind of thing isn't your style, you absolutely do not have to read it!! The last thing I want is to make people uncomfortable, especially my dear readers ❤️ It's for this reason that I'm making a separate work for it and making them two parts of a series instead of simply adding chapters; I want anyone who isn't comfortable with a ton of angst to still be able to enjoy the first part as a finished, standalone work. I'll put more specific content warnings in the tags for it as well.
> 
> Side note: this last chapter turned out so long, I can hardly believe Chapter 1 was only about 4k words, they just got longer with each update 😂
> 
> That's about all I have for now! I hope you enjoyed the end of this story, and I hope you'll like how it continues!! Thank you again for all your support, I love you ❤️
> 
> Until next time~

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter! To be honest I was debating posting this. With the current state of the world, I figured people didn't need to worry about a fictional virus. But some folks over on twitter were very encouraging and excited about it, so I decided to share it now! I want to try to keep a fairly regular update-schedule with this one, so I'm gonna go with one chapter every week. Meaning the next one should hit on Monday the 25th. Stay tuned, and I hope you liked this one!


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